To the Editor:
The following letter is for Don Donelson.
For the past weeks I’ve noticed that you have been constantly criticized for your ideas and for your fashion sense. You’ve been called an “ivy-league reject” that “should be arrested for raiding Newt Gingrich’s intellectual wardrobe.” I even heard someone mention that you have no presence (whatever that means), and that no one would take you seriously as president (not that any president is).
All these comments disgust me because your wardrobe and your ideas are not as bad as people make them out to be. You should be commended for caring about the future of our degrees. Also, you are kinda cute and, in my opinion, you dress very professionally. Whoever called you a Newt Gingrich dress-alike is jealous because he could never pull off looking as preppy or as elegant as you (Scott W. – don’t wear shorts – yuck).
I’m sure you would have made an excellent president, so don’t let any comments get to you. Just hold your head up high and smile (so no one will ever call you “angry”)!
Sincerely,
Your Secret Admirer