Edge

Hit me, baby

My second trip to Miccosukee Resort and Gaming was not a profitable experience, but enjoyable nonetheless.

After raking in $105 during my virgin visit, I arrived for round two with an arrogant swagger and three friends. I was quickly humbled, winning only two hands in my first four hours of Texas Hold ‘Em.

Miccosukee offers a variety of games for anyone over 18 that doesn’t feel like hitting up the Grove, SoBe, or a generic house party every weekend. The casino area features 1,400 video pull-tab machines [a.k.a. slots and video poker, a staple for senior citizens who don’t want to play a game that requires concrete thought], 58 poker tables with Omaha, Hi-Low Eight or better, Seven Card Stud, and different tournaments.

The main attraction of the casino is the “No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em” tournaments every Friday night.

MICCOSUKEE offers a variety of games for anyone over 18 that doesn’t feel like hitting up the grove, SOBE or a generic house party.

No Limit is my favorite game in the world, but unfortunately there’s only One-Two Hold ‘Em available on Thursday nights. This version of the most popular poker game on the planet only allows betting in increments of one and two dollars, virtually eliminating any possibilities of bluffing people or taking advantage of a massive chip lead.

When in the poker room, waitresses come around every so often to offer cocktails in pursuit of gratuities. Order a soda and sit in shock, as your drink arrives in no less than an hour. And these people still expect generous tips! I actually felt like congratulating one server who somehow made the 30-second task of refilling a cup of soda into a 60-minute ordeal.

The casino is a melting pot for different types of people. Novice players need not worry about rounders coming in and sweeping up everyone’s cash; all the great players are in Vegas or Atlantic City. Most of the regulars at Miccosukee are at a similar skill level. There are the token collegiate gamblers, non English-speaking locals, hopeless alcoholics, and wannabe hustlers who show up in suits and then have no idea that a low pocket pair is not a good hand.

My friends and I have no desire to play any game besides Hold ‘Em, so upon arrival we immediately signed in for a table. There was a shortage of dealers, so they weren’t opening every table in the poker room, forcing us to wait about half an hour before being seated.

Note: If you’re sensitive to cigarette smoke, don’t come to Miccosukee. I don’t smoke butts, but after playing cards in a haze of Marlboro Lights for five and a half hours, I felt like Joe Camel. My buddy Brian bragged that he smoked “about 20” over the course of the night. I’m not sure if this is something to boast about, but he was the only member of our foursome to leave the casino on top.

Maybe I should take up chain-smoking- I was a miraculous back-to-back straight and full-house away from dropping a C-note.

After leaving Miccosukee – a little lighter in the wallet – I’ve decided to take a long hiatus from gambling. That said, see you next Friday for the No Limit Hold ‘Em Tournament. Hey- what can I say? We all have our vices.

Eric Kalis can be contacted at e.kalis@umiami.edu.

March 5, 2004

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The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.