Iraq smack is all Bushie’s business plan

I still have no idea why we have spent billions of dollars of news coverage, military spending and all sorts of stuff for a job that only requires a couple thousand soldiers to clean out a couple holes in the ground somewhere halfway across the globe.

Nostradamus, the French fortuneteller in the 18th century, predicted this day would happen. He said that there would be a military strike with digits “9” and “11.” And this would happen either in the year 1999 or 2001. Aha, you say. Fortune-tellers have some truth!

But don’t you think that Osama Bin Laden actually might have done this intentionally just to mess the feeble minds of the American people? And don’t you think that our Pentagon un-intelligence would have actually said to themselves: “Ok, there is Osama Bin Laden who had been bombing our embassies in Africa, and there are suspicious looking people learning to fly planes in Arizona and the Arab governments hates us. Is anything going to happen?”

I don’t think people in Washington are that stupid. You know what I think? George W. Bush wanted this attack. The economy was plummeting, and George W. could not garner any respect out of the American people. So he needed to establish a sense of fear.

By making false claims and exaggerating about everything up until this date, Bush actually found 150 million people even more thick-headed than him to buy into everything. What George W. Bush did was very Machiavellian. He became like Napoleon, trying to conquer all the Arab countries and turn them into conformist consumers of the American culture.

What Bush did was a political and business move, and a phenomenal one at that. He was able to kill two birds with one stone. If he can garner the respect of people by constantly putting fear in them and transforming those Arabic people into idiot consumers to eventually put more money in Bush’s pocket, then all power to him.

And all power to us when I don’t have to pay $50 for gas and buy one of those deformed looking hybrid cars.

Seth Bleicher can be contacted at