SCANDALSHEET

AS EASY AS… HER In a move that has the entire fairer gender asking “wtf?”, a couple guys who are never getting laid again have established www.howwasshe.com, a website where greasy, STD-laden guidos can post a girl’s pic and rate how she was (or wasn’t) in bed, in hopes that other fellow low-lifes will consult “the internet’s little black book” before going through all the trouble of taking a girl out for Miami’s Best and The Butterfly Effect (dutch-style, of course). Awesome.

REMEMBER THAT PARIS HILTON? Paris Hilton’s media-whore blackout period has finally come to an end. Daddy Hilton enlisted celebrity spin doctor Dan Klores to do some damage control after her sexscapades went public, and Doc Klores first requirement of Paris was that she remove herself from the celebutante limelight. This explains why, for the past eight weeks, Paris has only been on every other episode of Extra, and only the even numbered pages of US Weekly, toning her wardrobe down from magenta and diamonds to pink and platinum, and really really sincerely trying to look like she doesn’t utterly l-u-v to bask in the glow of the Celebs Uncensored cameras. Now it’s back to full-time, full-on, unabashed prancing, all lookin’ like a stickbug on flake, throwing her non-tits towards the closest media outlet, making up for the lost time of her noted absence.

HARRELSON ON OUR GROUND
Contrary to violent nature, Natural Born Killers star Woody Harrelson appeared on campus Saturday; the screening of his movie Go Further occurred at our very own red curtained Cosford Cinema. Thumbs up to Harrelson for thinking our campus is good enough to step foot on.