As we enter the holiday season, thoughts of procrastination dancing through our heads, it might just be time to plan for a holiday trip – a holiday sabbatical as it were. For this column I have decided to discuss some very important items to keep in mind when traveling to Europe, in this case to the shores of jolly ol’ England (just what is an “Eng,” anyway?).
You leave our campus behind for what will surely be a thrilling and memorable trip to a foreign land. What fun and surprises await you there! Will it be as much fun and adventurous as the journey of discovery we went on to ascertain the secret treasures that lurk within the bowels of the convenience store? Will you find “a tasty meatball” there breathlessly awaiting your arrival? Sadly, no. But fret not, mystery awaits.
As you tour London you would do well to remember what Shaw said so long ago, that “England and America are two countries separated by a common language.” You probably won’t understand anything anyone says; I know, I saw it on “The Full Monty.” I’m still trying to find out who ‘Monty’ is. Maybe he’s French… ah, but I digress.
Back on your tour, it will be important to consider a few dining tips. Number one, Kidney Pie isn’t really made out of kidneys nor are there shepherds in Shepherd’s Pie. This may leave you with a completely new way of looking at Cottage Cheese, but that can’t be helped. And while you’re at it please find out how an English muffin becomes a Crumpet. Is it just the fact that the jam leaks out of the bottom of the Crumpet or is it that a Crumpet is just a rich, snooty muffin? Something to ponder on the flight over.
And so as we approach the end of my word limit, I wanted to take a moment to wish Sam Lockhart, opinion editor for the last year, a safe journey as he prepares to travel to England for a semester of study. It has been a very rewarding experience writing for the opinion section under your stewardship and while I expect the section to remain the vibrant arena of ideas it became under your leadership it will still not be quite the same in your absence. I hope your studies in England are every bit as prosperous as you hope, and I look forward to your return in the fall. Until then, hasta luego my friend.
Scott Wacholtz can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.