Life & Art Editor (elegant cursive font)
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TO CLIPSE:
Props for not doing an interview… again. Of all the gang-sign combinations left for the thugs who still have ten fingers and two hands, “Star Trak?” And wait, yr new single is called “Pussy”? Oh yeah, and because the News section seemingly doesn’t go to concerts, that’s “cold” how yr boy Roscoe P. Coldchain couldn’t even show up.
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TO “THE DEANS”: (gold embossed cursive font with flowers)
Stop calling my mom at home.
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TO THE UM STUDENT WHO PUNCHED GOOD CHARLOTTE’S DRUMMER AFTER HE SNATCHED AWAY YR PIZZA BOX OUTSIDE OF THE CONVOCATION CENTER BECAUSE IT READ, “GOOD CHARLOTTE suck COCK”:
Would you like a twelve-r of Miller or a six-pack of Red Stripe? Gratis, of course. Huntlaed@hotmail.com.
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TO BUSTA RHYMES:
Thanks for canceling so we don’t have to put ugly ads with yr face in our section.
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To JIGGA MAN:
And like that, he was gone. The Black Album is dope.
jiggawhutjiggawhojiggawhutjiggawhojiggawhutjiggawhojiggawhutjiggawh
TO THE “CONVOCATION CENTER”:
Bob the Builder????? Wait, B-O-B the B-U-I-L-D-E-R? If you’d like to ask the “Convocation Center” personally, email csoltz@miami.edu or dial 305 284 8165 and ask for Christi. With this kind of rep, the Convo Center should have a degrading nickname by now. Have one? Huntlaed@hotmail.com or SOASIS@aol.com. Winner gets a free trip to Jamaica, er, UC Room 221.
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DOMINO’S PIZZA: (free pizza with every box purchased) (Sharpie not included)
305.667.3666
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TO BROCK BERLIN:
Nobody likes you dude. Nobody.
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To BOB THE BUILDER:
(see above)
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