Edge

New York cooties by-way-of Miami

Life & Art Writer
UM Surfrider Prez

++++++++++ AVENUE D ARE WHORES +++++++++++

“Big booty hoes hop wit it! Hoochie mamas hop wit it!” Cali rappers 2 Live Crew love their asses big and fat, so why not loose and Latin, too?
Debbie and Daphne of the booty tech group Avenue D hail from Miami, where it’s sexy to show lots of skin anywhere from Foot Locker to the DMV.

Put them on a stage in NYC’s once-glorious CBGB, and you can see cans of frijoles negros – or was it babies? – dropping out of their bare, cosmically gigantic asses and clunking on the stage.

Taking the stage in what looked like torn bed sheets, complete with slits to show everyone in Manhattan their surprisingly itsy-bitsy nipples, their parachute-sized panties seemed to catch every bit of wind in the club and flare open, giving view to the 10 planets in perma-orbit around their asses. That’s 20 planets total.

The cellulite on their thighs bounced to the electro beat as the sleazy combo gyrated around stage singing, “SHUT UP AND STICK IT IN,” over and over.

Then they played the very danceable club hit “Do I Look Like a Slut?” as I moved to the back of the club and began to sob quietly while eating pre-packaged astronaut ice cream. “Yes, yes you do.”
No matter, I’d still slurp the cream out of their Moon Pies any day.

++++++ BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE – LIVE AT THE HILTON NY +++++

There’s nothing better than waking up to a really fantastic song playing on your clock radio. Familiar vocals and guitars seep into your mind’s ethereal fantasies, tug at your consciousness and guide you into the morning.

So when Broken Social Scene played a 1 p.m. Saturday in the ballroom of the Hilton New York, everyone turned out to see the Toronto-based indie band for obvious reasons.

Who wouldn’t want BSS’s blend of unhurried, crisp, pleasantly perfect pop music running through their minds as they flipped through records at Epherea on Avenue A, as you’re being helped by UM-alum Egg Foo Young?

I was supposed to get a noon wakeup knock from Lindsay – a dazzling girl from Kansas that I had met on the subway the day before – but she overslept.

Luckily I woke up on the floor at 12: 45 a.m., still fully clothed on my makeshift bed of armchair cushions. I stumble out of the elevator just in time to see the band’s co-founder and frontman Kevin Drew patiently slip into the emotive brilliance found on 2002’s praised sophomore release You Found it in People alonside David Leto of Rye Coalition.

I take it back. The only thing better than waking up to a really perfect song is waking up in NYC to one of the best live shows you’ve seen all year.

Kevin Dean can be reached at Biigdeano@aol.com.

November 7, 2003

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Photo Gallery: UM v. Virginia Tech | Saturday, November 17, 2018 … Click to Continue » ...

The Miami Hurricanes found new life Saturday — despite so much seemingly going wrong. Big plays on o ...

At least in terms of their bowl situation, the Miami Hurricanes can take a deep, collective breath. ...

Thoughts, notes, reaction and postscripts after UM’s 38-14 win on Saturday at Virginia Tech, making ...

There wasn’t much energy in the Watsco Center stands on Saturday afternoon as most University of Mia ...

UM Libraries is presenting an extraordinary exhibit that immerses the audience in an emotional journ ...

A UM researcher is helping to lead a study on how smoke interacts with clouds and its impact on the ...

People are bombarded with news and information these days, providing opportunities for discourse tha ...

Students, faculty and staff stopped by the School of Architecture’s Korach Gallery to learn what Mag ...

The On Campus event featured innovative National Geographic Explorers—photographers, scientists, sto ...

The Canes got back to their winning ways with an impressive 38-14 victory at Virginia Tech. ...

20-point performances from Chris Lykes and DJ Vasiljevic led Miami past Bethune-Cookman. ...

Seniors Kolby Bird and Haley Templeton will play in their final match at the James L. Knight Sports ...

The No. 24 Miami women's basketball team is headed to Iowa State for the Preseason WNIT champio ...

The Canes hit the road for the final time in the 2018 regular season and it is to a familiar and hos ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.