L&A PARTY CALENDAR OF BLOOD: The Vulcan’s Lair is 25,000 square feet of terror.

Life & Art Editor

TONIGHT

Hey kid, c’mere a second. Come a lil’ closer. Closer. Closer. Closer. C’mere a second. Closer. Closer. DUDE! Get away from me! So, everybody, it’s Halloween.

Last night was Devil’s Night – hope you all survived…ahahahaaha [spooky laugh], shut up other personality! Well, most of you are destined to be Grovin’ it – which most the time, we admit, we’d diss all art-student like (even though I’m not one – at all). But actually, it’s plenty fun and people rock some creative stuff. The problem is it isn’t all “Ahhhhh!” [breathe, breathe] whatsoever.

Well, there’s this 25,000 sq ft space that is – for tonight only – turned into a “Haunted Environment” complete with endless Bacardi poured by scantily-clad zombies and scored by two scantily-clad-til-it’s-eew skeleton DJs. The people behind this are dropping quite the dime, so it’s legit – we don’t know them either, so it’s no “Mustachio Bashio” propaganda. Costumes are mandatory and there’s free valet for your hearses.

Alright. Word. Here’s the info: Gada Presents “The 4th Element Halloween Party” at The Vulcan’s Lair warehouse (not rave styles – nicer), 696 (don’t flip the sixes) NW 22nd Street. Afterward, there’s a VIP afterparty at Mynt – sweet. Call 305-238-4151 for more info – that’s the big red dude’s cell by the way.

TOMORROW IS (ahem) THE LIFE & ART MUSTACHIO BASHIO

Yo Sven. Yo Hza. Yo, dude, hit the Michael Jackson tape. Where’s it at? Yo, just hit it, hurry up, I’m typing in the Bashio info. Alright, word. [30 sec wait] Sven! Okay! [The beat to “Thriller” starts].

Alright, everyone. Today is tomorrow. Today is the night of the Life & Art + UM Surfrider + M.I.A. Skateshop + UM-TV’s “Ballin’ Boys” firrrrth annual “Mustachio Bashio.” We’ve been chattering about this for yrs, yes we know. Well, it’s here, and we’ve all been trying to organize the house to the best of our class-in-class-out-sleep in-go-out-grow-that-‘stache zany schedules. We hope you like.

On the bill: DJ Jimmy James of WVUM 90.5 & Life & Art & VICE at SoHo Lounge on the way early ones-and-twos. Two dudes from The Empirical Mile doing some funny-sketchy-cool hip hop thing. MC Arjun of Life & Art and the DUCKS ARE DEAD crew as the night’s hammered MC (Jesus I’m rollin’ wit you.). Our man DJ Contra spinning all the dance work-out classics. But most likely, you’ll be hearing The Rapture’s Echoes for the firrth time (see if we talk a good game – we were right about Clipse, right?) and that new RZA disc – which is just slammin’ like ONYX.

But most of all kids, we have, [10 sec wait] – yo, Nate, how many kegs do we have? Dude, we have [counting] 10 kegs! So, we want to make the blurry remnants memorable: Guys wear yr real ‘staches. No real ‘stache? Go buy one and a monocle while yr at it. UM Girls: Just dress to impress like you do like everyday. Tell everyone you know – enemies, friends, pets, models, artists, Andrew Unterman, Dan Marino, our mascot.

Oh yeah, directions: Email Huntlaed@hotmail.com or Big_Sven@hotmail.com or Biigdeano@aol.com or SOASIS@aol.com. Be nice to the neighbors please – they’re cool and like UM kids to have a goodtime. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!