Global warming a concern, not penis enlargements

The majority of man-made global warming is produced by hot air from the mouths of humans. Special interest groups and capitalists are the players in this game of selling out environmental issues in the name of progress. The crisis of energy sparks many critical questions like how it is used, where it may be obtained, what method should be used to produce it, why it is important and how much is really there.
Once again, as with many issues, the central paradigm is the “haves” and the “have-nots.” There are basically two kinds of energy: renewable and the kind that takes many millions of years to be produced from organic matter. Our kids WILL have to deal with this. The “super-power society” that has the potential to make great advancements in environmental technology has not lived up to its potential. The excuses exonerated dance from the embarrassment of our hydro-electric push that wiped out ecosystems. . . to the All-American, Oil-Addicted Detroit lobbyists who have moved their factories to less prosperous countries for better profits. . . to the fear that renewable energy won’t be as easily taxable as imported oil from a politically unstable region.
Stop. Take a moment and pretend that you are trying to explain the history of humans and their “need” for energy to an intelligent alien (stay with me here). A society with enough time on its hands to invent the technology for penis enlargements and breast reductions for women with implants does not have the time for, say, solar-powered mopeds? Do we honestly believe that no technology exists to invent small-motored bikes for short-term use that only require enough energy to get a student to school? The all-powerful Modern Man (or Woman) can’t figure this one out. I am no expert. I just don’t understand. And I am tired of being represented by the wrong people for the wrong things. All I want is a cheap moped that I don’t have to fill up with gas every week. Is that too much to ask?

Alex Saleeby is a junior majoring in art.