Culture

nutrition

Product: Pepsi Blue

Ingredients: Pepsi, a mixture of fresh berries fused together by the righteous power of intergalactic hyper-metabolites that produces an out of this world, out-of-crotch experience.

Release Date: Currently available in liter size volumes through selected fine retailers. (FYI: Preorder Pepsi Blue Cube now to avoid disappointment, available Christmas 2002)

Target Audience: Small boys grades 1-3, video gamers; single bi-curious male, age 46, seeking alternative pleasure from other SWMs; 6’2″, 220lbs, hairless mammal, never married, with ranch & horses.

MSRP: $1

Rating: 6 out of 10 boners* Milder then a Circle K suicide, more hue then Crystal Clear Pepsi, but not enough of the Tahitian Treat charm to pull it off.

Dan The Dungeon Dweller’s top-secret tip – shhhh, it’s a secret!
1.Mix Berry Kool-Aid powder, sugar and sparkling water in pitcher. Optional: whisk in coffee and OxiClean for caffeine and “flavoring.”
2. Serve in old Pepsi Blue Bottles to your friends.
3. Makes a cheap alternative to Pepsi Blue
4. Bask in the glory of your peers’ endless praise.

*The more boners the better, who wants a softie? The Boner Scale is exclusively copyrighted to The Cabin and its amenities, no biting, literally.

D. Ruth can be reached (only by e-mail) at druth@chorus.net.

October 25, 2002

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The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Florida. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published in print every Tuesday.