Orange Bowl security personnel needs an overhaul

Am I the only one who was very disappointed at Saturday’s football game? And I am not talking about the lifeless performance by the number one team in the nation. What I found most disappointing was the so-called Orange Bowl Security team, who were even more pathetic than the Hurricanes offense.

It is the same story every game. The aisles are always so full of people, you can never be quite sure if they exist at all. Inevitably, some drunk frat guy (perhaps in an inebriated attempt to impress the girl next to him) successfully redefines the term “moron” by throwing a half-full beer bottle into the unsuspecting crowd. Or, utilizing the most recent weapon of choice, an entire section of fans throw those little Miami Hurricane CD’s, causing everyone to dive for cover as they fly around like malignant Frisbees threatening to put out an eye or slash a gaping wound into someone’s neck.

On top of that, there is more weed going around than at a Dave Matthews Band concert, and there are so many fights, I’m not sure whether to watch them or the game. And to put the icing on the cake, at Saturday’s game there was a guy in the student section with a cow bell. Maybe I’m the one who is crazy, but how can you bring a large, heavy metal object into the game, but you can’t get in with an umbrella? Oh wait, that’s right. Umbrellas can be used as weapons. What was I thinking?

So, where is the security during all of this? I’ll tell you where they are. They are busy being more ineffectual than our offensive line. Saturday marked the third time in my years here at the University of Miami that I have asked a security guard to clear out the aisles, and for the third time they didn’t even so much as answer me. They merely looked at me with an expression that seemed to say, “So what. Is that my job?”

Why are these people not being fired? At the very least they should have to dress up like clowns so that they could entertain us while they do nothing. The fact is that if there is ever a serious emergency (and at a stadium that sells beer, it is only a matter of time), someone is going to end up dead. I don’t care how good the EMS may be at the Orange Bowl, there are so many students in the aisles that not even Willis McGahee could find an opening. And if they’re not going to clear the aisles, they could at least arrest that drunk frat guy.

Travis Atria is a junior majoring in English literature.