The key to the best sex

Every male student at the University of Miami student should, when waking up each morning, take one or two minutes to be grateful to God for what we have been given. Our campus, thanks in part to President Foote and the ones that came before him, is filled with dozens of beautiful women, with whom I can only dream of going out on dates and see what might happen afterward.

Ephemeral fantasies aside, my ultimate fantasy is a long-lasting fantasy. Not a quickie – a “one-time wham-bam-thank-you ma’am” – but one in which I work on my relationship with that special someone. Someone I can wine and dine, take to the movies, and give a kiss to every morning.

Call me old-fashioned, but I do believe there’s a big difference between a man and a woman making love and a man and a woman making whoopee for one night. In ordeer to achieve the second alternative, we have ten fingers that individually or simultaneously can do the trick. A good video or magazine can also help tremendously.

The foreplay, the smooching and the caresses are much better when the other side is more than a piece of meat with a B-size cup or half a dozen inches or more. Making love involves much more than just physical contact. It is an active expression of what we feel inside-the best of it, if the mood and the scent of the candle are right.

Besides the emotional concerns, we have health concerns-particularly HIV. Those 20 seconds of fun (or 40, if you’re a “good performer”) may end costing us much more than we ever bargained for.

I don’t believe that abstinence is the best protection. It would be too naive and too unnatural to ask college students at the peak of their heat to just hold on to their instincts until they meet their better half. But being careful and being selective would really help.

It’s funny but, in my Brazilian mind, the road to a sexual encounter is a long and tortuous journey. It takes charm; the right words at the right time, at the right place-with the right touch in all the right places. You might take a week or a couple hours to get there, but it’s still a lot of effort. Why waste all that energy on a one-night stand?

A good one night is followed by many others. It’s followed by two people getting to know each other, finding out how to make that one night into another better one, and an even better following that. And you can’t accomplish that on a one-time deal.

Daniel Paskin is a graduate student in the School of International Studies.