Soccer moms fund terrorists, not potheads

Has anyone else noticed those new anti-drug commercials lately? You know, the ones in which the government tries to scare you into believing that every time someone buys marijuana they are funding terrorism?

Indeed, the commercials are very dramatic, especially in light of the events of Sep. 11th. After all, who wants to fund terrorism? But I urge all you pot-heads to calm down and read closely.

Don’t you find it curious how the connection between drugs and terrorism is made to seem so obvious? At the same time, don’t you find it curious how the commercials mention nothing about how every time you buy gas you are conceivably helping to fund terrorists? Or how everyone with a sports utility vehicle is eating gas at an unprecedented rate and consequentially contributing tons of money annually to the countries that house these terrorists?

And why do they not mention anything about how our dubious dealings with the countries that give us all of this precious gasoline and oil are quite possibly half the reason these terrorists hate us so much? I mean, not only are we occupying their countries and exploiting their economies, but we are also destroying their plots of earth as fast as we possibly can.

Oh but wait, I forgot. No one likes to admit to the bad stuff. So I understand why we would want to pretend it doesn’t happen. And I can see how some marketing genius was able to turn it into a brilliant attempt to lend credence to our impotent war on drugs.

This all might sound very radical, but I’d bet you it’s not too far from the truth. I believe that blaming junkies for the problem of terrorism is too easy an excuse. It works too perfectly and seems like a ploy to appease the average soccer mom who drives an SUV and wants her kids to stay away from drugs. And my theory is that it is exactly that soccer mom, spending hundreds of dollars a month on gas, who is the real terrorist.

Travis Atria is a sophomore majoring in English literature.