Columnists

The Maturity Column: Take second chances
Opinion, The Maturity Column

The Maturity Column: Take second chances

At six-foot-six, Giancarlo Stanton stared down at me as words clumsily stumbled out of my mouth. It was the Miami Marlins’ first baseball game of the season, which happened to be their first loss as well. So I guess you could say it was the perfect scenario for my first interview with professional athletes. In…

Grandma Shalala: mixture of intelligence, kindness, awesomeness
Opinion, Shalala, The Maturity Column

Grandma Shalala: mixture of intelligence, kindness, awesomeness

President Donna E. Shalala may be known for being our coveted Dumbledore, guiding us all with her strength and composure, but we students have never had the privilege of witnessing the sensitive, wants-to-spoil-you-with-sweets side that is characteristic of the grandfatherly headmaster. However, this doesn’t mean that we can’t indulge our imaginations with what kind of grandma Shalala would be. ​Personally, I had the pleasure…

HUMOR: Survey says peeing in shower commonplace
Opinion, The Maturity Column

HUMOR: Survey says peeing in shower commonplace

It was a Tuesday night. My suitemate and I were chilling in my room talking about adult stuff: the economy and “Friends” being on Netflix. While pondering the societal boundaries of Rachel buying stock in Phoebe’s new Greek life scratch-and-sniff sticker franchise, Smelly Frat, I glanced at my suitemate and proposed a question: “Do you…

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