An Open Letter to Club Promoters Dear Club Promoters, What’s up bottle rat L*O*S*E*R*S? Have I mentioned to you lately how much I love when you do that star thing? Really attention-grabbing. Anyway, glad you could take time out of your busy day spent mass texting underage girls to read what I am sure will...

In a venture purely for the sake of journalism, I downloaded Tinder, the latest and greatest dating app for the socially incompetent and the acutely lazy to meet prospects within 50-miles. Since I have spent the entirety of the last 20 lunar phases of my life eating bagel chips in my bed, and I don’t...

Being the kind of kid who started researching colleges before I got my braces on, I believed that there was an exact science to getting an acceptance letter from Harvard. The formula was something like 5 percent grades, 15 percent how many SAT prep books I bought, and the rest was becoming a superhuman. I...

The Rat ­ – You are going to see and be seen. Forget tables at LIV, you know the real prime real estate is a mahogany glider at the Rat after your 11 a.m. class. You are territorial and believe that having no less than your entire pledge class safeguarding your new domain may result in...

There are many questions I dread in life. Some make the top 10 list: 1) “Did you finish that entire bag of chips already?” 2) “Why have you been staring at me for the past 25 minutes?” 3) “Is that your natural hair color?” The reigning champion for the No. 1 spot, however, goes to...