Don’t fret the ending, appreciate the memories
First walking onto the University of Miami’s campus in Coral Gables seemed like the happy ending to my mostly mundane movie. It was 10 years ago when I first fell in love with the aggressive Ibis and the majestic green and orange while watching the football team play in the national championship. Despite them losing...
Finding a bromance that will last forever
Every college guy will figure out at one point or another how to pick up that cute girl at the bar for a fun night or lifelong commitment. But more important than finding a drunk hottie is connecting with a good bro. Cute girls outnumber good bros by a ratio of 5 to 1. If...
Rambo’s College Survival Guide: A bitter, not-so-celebratory 21st birthday
I am turning 21 in a week. Does this really mean I have to go out with my overly obnoxious friends and drink until my white vans look like they were customized with a vomit color and smell? I should be excited that I can LEGALLY drink every time I watch the Dolphins lose a...
Eat your food, don’t shoot it
Yes, you just ate three McRibs with an extra large fry and a strawberry milkshake. You go to McDonalds and order this meal three times a week. This means that there is no need to expose it to everyone every time you eat it. Surprisingly, this is not the reason Instagram was invented. Just because...
Fans join the basketball bandwagon
As I sat at an empty Mark Light Stadium watching the Hurricanes baseball team give up four runs in the first inning to unranked rival Virginia, I couldn’t help but think Miami has drifted to another sport. Maybe there’s a reason people swarm to watch winning teams in an air-conditioned venue instead of having their...
Rambo’s College Survival Guide: The art of pregaming
It’s a Friday night, and the only thing you want to do is forget about that C minus on your last chemistry test. You don’t achieve this by studying upcoming chapters, you do this by having a crazy night with all the other kids who flunked a test that week. Just like a romantic evening,...
Rambo’s College Survival Guide: Life after Netflix
Half way through Season 4 of Lost, I take a look around. I am in complete darkness, and I smell like I had been on the island for two months. The room was scattered with old Little Caesars’ boxes and decaying Taco Bell burritos. I couldn’t tell if my body had morphed into the bean...
Rambo’s College Survival Guide: Did he really just text me that? A guideline to texting in 2013
“Yoooooo.” Everyone has been a victim of this text. In the year 2013, it is unacceptable to fall into the disturbing social skills that make this generation less and less appealing. That may have been a little dramatic, but that doesn’t mean we can’t class it up a little bit. Stop wondering why that girl...
Rambo’s College Survival Guide: One simply does not cruise through Miami
The only thing that lasts longer than the brutal, year-long Miami summer is waiting for a red light to turn green. Once it does, a man doing his best Lance Armstrong on PEDs impersonation, casually tries to bike across the cross walk. This is where the frustration of two hours of driving like you’re in...
Hair gel, duck faces aren’t in style
While watching any high school Disney channel movie, you will often see an older character with a popped collar, 14 ounces of gel in his hair and an ego the size of the entire “Jersey Shore” cast. This is the stereotypical college douchebag. He will probably drive a foreign sports car and throw an obnoxiously...
Valentine’s plans set tone for love
There is nothing a guy wants more than to pronounce how much he cares for his girlfriend by standing in front of people with an unhealthy amount of chocolates and an 8-foot teddy bear while she runs toward him screaming like a 14-year-old Justin Bieber fan. This is an obligation that every guy must fulfill...
Rambo’s College Survival Guide: How to Catfish your way to a Valentine’s date
If your last harmony date ended with you literally running away from the girl as her three hundred pound body attempted to hold you back so she wouldn’t have to pay for the three desserts she ordered (and wouldn’t share,) then maybe you need a new way of finding dates. With Valentine’s Day a week...
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