V's Take

Stick with safe sex, even if you get judged by middle-aged adults for it

V is finally getting laid again.

But after a few months of abstinence, V needed to take a trip to the store to get supplies. Whether you’re in a relationship, single or it’s complicated, we can all agree that safe and comfortable sex is sexy.

The best place to start is aisle A36 of the Dadeland Target. We’re talking the not-so-sexy condom aisle.

The act of buying the supplies isn’t what stresses me out; it’s the judgmental glances from the other shoppers. I don’t need judgement from people who buy their ground beef from the same place they buy their Kindle Fire.

On this particular day, the side-eye came from a 50-something-year-old woman who was, for some reason, buying tampons. We know they aren’t for you sweetie; you’re drier than the Sahara down there.

This woman walked by me and looked at me, then the condoms, then back at me and shook her head. She looked more shocked than I did when I first saw shirtless Julio Frenk.

The only time I have been judged harder for getting condoms was by an RA at the front desk of Hecht Residential College. Because nothing encourages safe sex like creating a hostile condom-grabbing experience.

This made me wonder – why the stigma around buying sex supplies?

If Target made Mossimo or Merona-brand condoms, everyone would be lining up to buy them without shame. Especially Sahara vagina lady. We definitely know she’d be there.

The snarky, judging glances will always be there, but who cares? You’re probably never going to see these people again. And if you do, so what? You got laid!

Most adults have sex. Even Sahara lady, who is probably into some really kinky stuff. But remember, it’s best to do it safely.

A few judgmental looks in a Target now can save you from a lot of judgmental protesters outside a Planned Parenthood later. Ignore them – they’re probably jealous.

Have a question for V? Email dearv@themiamihurricane.com

February 19, 2018

Reporters

V'S Take


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Miami Hurricanes fans might recall their favorite college football players in past years dreaming of ...

The new quarterback is usually the ones fans gush over. For the University of Miami, last season it ...

Debate all you want, but University of Miami football coach Mark Richt made it clearer than ever Wed ...

Last year, when University of Miami tailback Mark Walton attended the Atlantic Coast Conference Foot ...

The Miami Hurricanes will have plenty of talent on both sides of the ball this season, and four play ...

Following the summit between Trump and Putin, reaction from politicians, pundits and former intellig ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

University of Miami law and political science professors weigh in on Trump’s SCOTUS nominee. ...

Research bioclimatologists with the UM Synoptic Climatology Lab counsel cities on how to manage risi ...

A UM-led study is examining how children’s play behavior at beaches could impact their health. ...

University of Miami junior running back Travis Homer was named a preseason candidate for the Doak Wa ...

Six former Canes competed on NBA Summer League teams, with three averaging at least 10 points per ga ...

Quick Hits gives University of Miami volleyball fans an opportunity to get to know the new student-a ...

The University of Miami's volleyball team earned the American Volleyball Coaches Association (A ...

University of Miami head golf coach Patti Rizzo announced the 2018-19 schedule, featuring nine tourn ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.