Opinion

Miami’s noncommittal dating scene gets old when looking for lasting love

Valentine’s Day has gone from a celebration of love to another over-commercialized holiday saturated with anxiety and high expectations; and in Miami, the problems are even easier to see.

Having lived in Miami all my life and gone through high school and now college, I am underwhelmed by the city’s dating atmosphere, mainly because most people are only interested in surface-level relationships—a product of the constant partying that gives Miami its reputation. The situation is especially bad once you graduate: according to economist Jon Birger, the amount of college-educated women under 25 is 86 percent higher than college-educated men of the same age. This can make it even harder to find guys I relate with.

And of course, as a city known for its lavish yacht parties, beach-side cocktails and grand openings of high-end bars, there remains little room for sincere relationships to develop. The obsession with presenting a perfect image, too, makes it difficult to develop something real in Miami’s dating scene.

It’s difficult to really get to know someone when everyone is opting to hook up instead of forming a more lasting connection, or when people are more concerned with the image of a relationship than the work behind it.

A 2013 study by the American Psychological Association found that 60 to 80 percent of North American college students have had a hookup – even though 63 percent of college men and 83 percent of college women said they would still prefer a traditional relationship.

It can seem as though everyone is paralyzed with fear of commitment, causing them to ruin some great relationships or close themselves off entirely, preventing any from ever beginning.

Dating has become casual to the point that many people often can’t tell the difference between dating and “talking,” the hard-to-define phase in which you spend time together but just aren’t that serious.

Over the years I’ve had experiences with people who were content wasting my time, as well as their own, with endless “talking” and never moving forward. People, in Miami especially, seem so scared to be vulnerable and real with other people that they become emotionally unavailable. And that’s a huge turnoff.

In order to successfully navigate our city’s tricky dating scene, we really need to know what we want, and what we don’t want. We need to stand our ground and be firm in expressing how we deserve to be treated. We shouldn’t change who we are just because someone else is unwilling to compromise in a relationship.

It would also help us if we took a page from our parents, or people from a generation that worked to make relationships last. Maybe if we put more time and genuine effort into looking for the relationships we really want, we just might find it.

Nicole Macias is a sophomore majoring in English.

February 11, 2018

Reporters


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Gino DiMare on Tuesday stood in a spot that two men before him had crafted into a pinnacle of succes ...

The NBA Draft is on Thursday, and the buzz around the league is that the University of Miami’s Lonni ...

Former NFL and University of Miami star Kellen Winslow Jr. was arrested Thursday for numerous allege ...

Trevor Darling's perseverance paid off. After not being selected in the NFL Draft, the former U ...

Father's Day has never been a big holiday in the Larranaga household because basketball always ...

Teachers tackle challenging questions at the Holocaust Studies Summer Institute. ...

A University of Miami lecturer explores the role of the front porch in black communities. ...

In the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, two public health sciences students traveled to Puerto Rico to ...

Colder Atlantic temperatures could change hurricane season forecasts, but the trend isn't expec ...

UM neurorehabilitation expert David S. Kushner, M.D., who helps modern patients recover from brain s ...

Gino DiMare was officially introduced as the 10th head baseball coach in program history Tuesday in ...

Jaquan Johnson was named to Athlon Sports' Preseason All-America First Team, while Shaq Quarter ...

An outstanding showing at the USATF Championships earned Symone Mason a trip to the World U20 Champi ...

UM alum returns to lead Canes' MBB strength and conditioning efforts. ...

Amy Deem was recognized for the third time as the ACC Women's Outdoor Track and Field Coach of ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.