V's Take

Getting in the mood for love during cuffing season

Thanksgiving has passed, and that means it’s now the most wonderful time of the year, the peak of cuffing season.

For all the parents judgmentally reading this column in their child’s college newspaper and wondering what cuffing season is – it’s when people who are usually into casual hookups get into relationships.

The point is to be less “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado and more “Crazy in Love” by Beyoncé, if you know what I mean.

Usually cuffing season only affects our friends in colder places (you know, because consistent cuddling, fireplaces), but I have confirmed cuffing season is in full effect in Miami and I want to participate.

Gone are the days of V letting anyone and everyone touch her v. You’re gonna have to wife me up to get the goods now.

It is common knowledge among friends that V has had an exceptionally high body count, a record I am very proud of.

If there was a gold medal for hitting it then quitting it, I would be like Michael Phelps but with way more than 28 medals. Except I don’t look like a horse man.

But if I’m being honest, the reason for my previous participation in “hoe activities” was that I was trying to find the right guy to catch feels for. Random hookups temporarily filled the hole in my heart, and filled some other holes, too.

That gets boring and tiring though, and V is burnt out. I want to settle down, do wifey things and get in on that consistent cuddling that comes with cuffing season. I want to take the time to get to know someone special on a deeper level.

So, cuff me up, but not in a kinky way. V is moving on from her old ways (for now, at least).

Do you want to wife V up, or do you have questions about cuffing season? Let me know by emailing dearv@themiamihurricane.com.

December 4, 2017

Reporters

V'S Take


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The college football season doesn't begin until the end of August, but that never stops media o ...

There were indications, even before Lonnie Walker IV was selected No. 18 by the San Antonio Spurs in ...

Add another player to the Miami Hurricanes' 2019 recruiting class. Defensive end Jahfari Harvey ...

From the onset, the Miami Hurricanes' plan was for the Carol Soffer football indoor practice fa ...

Gino DiMare on Tuesday stood in a spot that two men before him had crafted into a pinnacle of succes ...

At the University of Miami, employee recognition comes in many forms. ...

Community art project encourages the public to explore the vibrant downtown area of Coral Gables and ...

It appears that his third run for the presidency will be successful as he distances himself from the ...

Teachers tackle challenging questions at the Holocaust Studies Summer Institute. ...

A University of Miami lecturer explores the role of the front porch in black communities. ...

Anna Runia won the women's 400m hurdles at the Netherlands track and field championships, while ...

The University of Miami volleyball program will host nine ACC home matches and the Sunshine State Ch ...

Walker picked 18th overall by San Antonio Spurs, Brown 42nd by Detroit Pistons. ...

Gino DiMare was introduced as the 10th head baseball coach in Canes' history. ...

The University of Miami women's golf team had three individuals selected to the 2018 Atlantic C ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.