Dear V

Dear V: Weathering storms without an umbrella

Dear V,

Lately, my boyfriend has been pushing for us to have sex without a condom.

I trust him and we’ve been dating for years, so I’m not afraid of STIs. That said, though, I’m not on birth control. I used to be on the pill, but I went off it because it made me really moody. He says he’ll pull out, but I don’t want to risk getting pregnant.

I’m wondering what to do. I could try the pill again or something else. But it just feels risky. He says condoms are uncomfortable and there’s such a small chance I’ll get pregnant anyway.

I feel bad that I’m stopping sex from being more enjoyable for him. Should we go without a condom?

Sincerely,

Bearing the Bare

Dear Bearing the Bare,

I can hear the sounds of a baby’s wailing cry at 4 a.m. echoing far off in the distance.

Seriously, though, are you ready for thousands of dollars’ worth of diapers, formula, toys and daycare and for the next 18 years of your life to be dedicated to a smaller version of you?

No? Then don’t risk it. Simple.

Sure, sex does feel better without a condom – I’ll give your boyfriend that. But as Weezy says, “Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex. ‘Cause you don’t want that late text, that ‘I think I’m late’ text.”

There are plenty of joys that come with a baby. I’m not ragging on anyone who chooses to have a child when they’re young, that’s their choice and I’m glad they’re happy. However, based on what you said, it sounds like that’s not what you want in life right now and you’re not ready to have a child.

There’s no 100-percent guarantee when you go without protection. Besides, no matter how much you trust your boyfriend, there’s always the risk of getting some unsavory red bumps and rashes down there.

STIs are life-long commitments, too. Just instead of diapers, you get ointments and medicine.

But, if you’re willing to risk STIs and are only concerned about pregnancy, you should consider taking the pill again or try some other birth-control options. Between insertable rings and devices, female condoms, injections or what have you, there are just too many options to make excuses and gamble with your future.

Sure, kids are great. And hey, maybe your guy’s “pull-out game” is strong like he says.

But don’t risk a baby if you’re not ready yet and don’t risk your future for momentary pleasure.

-V

April 10, 2016

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The Hurricanes have become part of college football’s national conversation, and the more wins they ...

Kicker Michael Badgley will soon become the University of Miami’s all-time field goal leader. In the ...

University of Miami coach Mark Richt called Darrell Langham’s amazing, 28-yard catch on fourth-and-1 ...

Darrell Langham is 6-4, but might as well be 8-4 — that’s how much he has grown in stature for the M ...

The Miami Hurricanes have done it again. For the second week in a row, the Canes rallied to win in t ...

From a game simulating how whales navigate to a tribute to Ella Fitzgerald, the U showcased some of ...

A new mobile game called Blues and Reds, now available worldwide, aims to help researchers study int ...

A major Lancet Commission report, a three-year project headed by UM’s Professor Felicia Knaul and co ...

With a $6.8 million NIH grant, the UM School of Nursing and Health Studies and FIU Robert Stempel Co ...

A summer 2017 excursion unlike any other united a group of University of Miami students and faculty ...

Hurricanes legends Michael Irvin, Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Warren Sapp and Sean Taylor were officially ad ...

University of Miami wide receiver Darrell Langham and kicker Michael Badgley were among those recogn ...

University of Miami redshirt setter Haley Templeton was named ACC Player of the Week, the conference ...

Freshman Bojan Jankulovski highlighted Day 2 competition on Saturday for the University of Miami men ...

The University of Miami's football game at North Carolina on Oct. 28 will kick off at noon ET o ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.