Dear V

Dear V: Weathering storms without an umbrella

Dear V,

Lately, my boyfriend has been pushing for us to have sex without a condom.

I trust him and we’ve been dating for years, so I’m not afraid of STIs. That said, though, I’m not on birth control. I used to be on the pill, but I went off it because it made me really moody. He says he’ll pull out, but I don’t want to risk getting pregnant.

I’m wondering what to do. I could try the pill again or something else. But it just feels risky. He says condoms are uncomfortable and there’s such a small chance I’ll get pregnant anyway.

I feel bad that I’m stopping sex from being more enjoyable for him. Should we go without a condom?

Sincerely,

Bearing the Bare

Dear Bearing the Bare,

I can hear the sounds of a baby’s wailing cry at 4 a.m. echoing far off in the distance.

Seriously, though, are you ready for thousands of dollars’ worth of diapers, formula, toys and daycare and for the next 18 years of your life to be dedicated to a smaller version of you?

No? Then don’t risk it. Simple.

Sure, sex does feel better without a condom – I’ll give your boyfriend that. But as Weezy says, “Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex. ‘Cause you don’t want that late text, that ‘I think I’m late’ text.”

There are plenty of joys that come with a baby. I’m not ragging on anyone who chooses to have a child when they’re young, that’s their choice and I’m glad they’re happy. However, based on what you said, it sounds like that’s not what you want in life right now and you’re not ready to have a child.

There’s no 100-percent guarantee when you go without protection. Besides, no matter how much you trust your boyfriend, there’s always the risk of getting some unsavory red bumps and rashes down there.

STIs are life-long commitments, too. Just instead of diapers, you get ointments and medicine.

But, if you’re willing to risk STIs and are only concerned about pregnancy, you should consider taking the pill again or try some other birth-control options. Between insertable rings and devices, female condoms, injections or what have you, there are just too many options to make excuses and gamble with your future.

Sure, kids are great. And hey, maybe your guy’s “pull-out game” is strong like he says.

But don’t risk a baby if you’re not ready yet and don’t risk your future for momentary pleasure.

-V

April 10, 2016

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Most NBA mock drafts had Miami Hurricanes guard Davon Reed going late in the second round of Thursda ...

University of Miami shooting guard Davon Reed will gather with friends and family in Ewing, New Jers ...

University of Miami great and Pro Football Hall of Famer Warren Sapp announced on Tuesday that he pl ...

The University of Miami continues to make a hard push for five-star point guard Immanuel Quickley of ...

The University of Miami’s 2018 football recruiting class, already ranked the best in the country by ...

UM female scientists share some insight on women in science, science in Hollywood and how Wonder Wom ...

Read the latest entries from UM students who are spending part or all of their summer visiting diffe ...

UM Student Affairs Advocacy Coordinator Heather Stevens has been awarded the William Leftwich Award ...

President Julio Frenk makes the case for collaboration at eMerge Americas. ...

UM College of Engineering Dean Jean-Pierre Bardet and alumnus Rony Abovitz share the stage in a disc ...

The Atlantic Coast and Big Ten Conferences announced Monday, the University of Miami men's bask ...

Three members of the University of Miami men's tennis players have been selected as All-ACC Aca ...

The University of Miami women's golf team had four individuals selected to the 2017 Atlantic Co ...

A freshman from Stratham, N.H., Rebecca Ripley of the Miami women's basketball team sat down wi ...

University of Miami standout Shakima Wimbley is headed to the 2017 IAAF World Championships in Londo ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.