Dear V

Dear V: Weathering storms without an umbrella

Dear V,

Lately, my boyfriend has been pushing for us to have sex without a condom.

I trust him and we’ve been dating for years, so I’m not afraid of STIs. That said, though, I’m not on birth control. I used to be on the pill, but I went off it because it made me really moody. He says he’ll pull out, but I don’t want to risk getting pregnant.

I’m wondering what to do. I could try the pill again or something else. But it just feels risky. He says condoms are uncomfortable and there’s such a small chance I’ll get pregnant anyway.

I feel bad that I’m stopping sex from being more enjoyable for him. Should we go without a condom?

Sincerely,

Bearing the Bare

Dear Bearing the Bare,

I can hear the sounds of a baby’s wailing cry at 4 a.m. echoing far off in the distance.

Seriously, though, are you ready for thousands of dollars’ worth of diapers, formula, toys and daycare and for the next 18 years of your life to be dedicated to a smaller version of you?

No? Then don’t risk it. Simple.

Sure, sex does feel better without a condom – I’ll give your boyfriend that. But as Weezy says, “Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex. ‘Cause you don’t want that late text, that ‘I think I’m late’ text.”

There are plenty of joys that come with a baby. I’m not ragging on anyone who chooses to have a child when they’re young, that’s their choice and I’m glad they’re happy. However, based on what you said, it sounds like that’s not what you want in life right now and you’re not ready to have a child.

There’s no 100-percent guarantee when you go without protection. Besides, no matter how much you trust your boyfriend, there’s always the risk of getting some unsavory red bumps and rashes down there.

STIs are life-long commitments, too. Just instead of diapers, you get ointments and medicine.

But, if you’re willing to risk STIs and are only concerned about pregnancy, you should consider taking the pill again or try some other birth-control options. Between insertable rings and devices, female condoms, injections or what have you, there are just too many options to make excuses and gamble with your future.

Sure, kids are great. And hey, maybe your guy’s “pull-out game” is strong like he says.

But don’t risk a baby if you’re not ready yet and don’t risk your future for momentary pleasure.

-V

April 10, 2016

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

University of Miami linebacker Jamie Gordinier has had another unfortunate setback, effectively side ...

The calmest coach on the planet got mad Friday after football practice. University of Miami coach Ma ...

Lester Williams wasn’t on the field playing for the Miami Hurricanes when they won their first natio ...

An extremely frustrated University of Miami football coach Mark Richt began his media availability b ...

UM chatter: • One lesson learned in recent years, as one UM official put it: Don’t get your hopes up ...

UM’s new chief academic officer holds some 40 patents, and in 2017 was inducted into the National Ac ...

University of Miami students and researchers are blogging during a month-long expedition in the Gulf ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

UM students talk about their internships up north in a city that never sleeps. ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.