Dear V

Dear V: Sister’s crush starting to get awkward

Dear V,

The guy I’m dating is great – he’s sweet, caring and has a great sense of humor. My family loves him.

Thing is, someone in my family loves him too much. My younger sister is a freshman in high school and, even though I can’t blame her, she’s developed a crush on my boyfriend. She puts on makeup and perfume in a rush every time he comes over, but then pretends it’s not for him. She ends up eavesdropping on us, trying to find a place to butt in and be part of the conversation. While I’m at my house, it’s virtually impossible to get any alone time with my guy.

I’m not sure what to do. My boyfriend seems to think her little crush is funny, but she’s so preoccupied with impressing him she seems to have lost interest in her own classmates. I’m hoping to help my sister find interest in someone her own age – that would get her mind off of my boyfriend. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Family Feud

Dear Family Feud,

Good on you for not blaming your sister. Sibling rivalries can get rough and when there’s a guy on the line, girls become cutthroat.

Your sister can’t help but get a crush when there’s a cute older boy around. Truth is, girls mature quicker than guys – while most high school guys are still in their awkward phase, picking at zits and hearing cracks in their voice, many girls already look like college grads by the time they hit senior year.

Make sure to ask your boyfriend not to encourage the infatuation. He might think he’s just playing around, but emotions are a big deal for teens and she could end up feeling crushed or humiliated. Instead, ask him to be friendly but treat her the same way as your parents – kind, but with a distance.

Ultimately, it’s up to your sister to find someone she’s interested in, but nudging her along couldn’t hurt. Does she have a prom date? She could make the first move on one of her guy friends and ask him out. Encourage her to put herself out there and take a leap. That might be all she needs to get her eyes back on a prize of her own rather than yours.

Do what you can to remind your sister to look for someone who’s on the market and is her age.

By any chance, does your boyfriend have a younger brother?

-V

March 16, 2016

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