Dear V,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now. We had a one-night stand our freshman year that ended up escalating to full-on dates, cuddling and all that cheesy stuff by the first semester of our sophomore year. At first, I was fine with taking it slow – after all, neither of us planned to become a “thing.” But now, it’s been a year and he hasn’t said those three little words I’m dying to hear.
I’m trying to keep cool about it. I know he cares about me, and he treats me like a queen. But if he loved me, wouldn’t he know by now? I’m afraid I’m wasting my time on someone who doesn’t feel as deeply about me as I do about him. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Haven’t Heard the L-Word
Dear Haven’t Heard the L-Word,
If your guy treats you right and you’re happy in your relationship, there’s nothing too serious to worry about. If he shows you he cares, sometimes that’s all that guys are ready to do. Telling someone you love them is a big deal no matter how long you’ve been dating. Some couples go without saying it for years.
However, that doesn’t mean you should sit on the edge of your seat and drive yourself crazy.
Who said that the man should take the plunge first anyway? If you’re ready, say it to him when the mood is right. He might say he loves you back and be relieved you took the plunge, or he might tell you he’s not ready yet. Either way, don’t lose heart.
Thing is, actions speak louder than words. If he takes the time out of his day to see you, spends quality time with you and makes you happy, then he’s showing you that he loves you in the way that’s easiest for him.
After all, it’s possible he’s afraid to say it because he thinks you’re not ready.
Lay on the affection and sweet talk for a few weeks and see how he reacts. Do something nice for him in the spur of the moment, like buying him that video game he wanted or taking him to that football game you’ve been avoiding. Give him the push he needs to say how he feels.
So either choose to stay where you are now and keep truckin’, or swallow your pride and take the leap.
If you’re both happy together, don’t be afraid to show it. Or, in this case, say it.
-V