Dear V

Dear V: Holiday hounding won’t stop

Dear V,

Over break, I spent time with family. Between curious aunts, prying cousins and my traditional, overbearing mother, I was grilled almost constantly on why I don’t have a boyfriend. Truth is, I have a friend with benefits who I’ve been seeing for a while. College is stressful and busy, so I don’t want a real relationship.

I tried to explain that there’s a guy I’m seeing and we’re just not serious, but they wouldn’t listen. One of my aunts even sang “If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it,” and everyone joined in.

I’m happy with the way things are. I’m in college; I’m supposed to be having fun. I’m tired of my family making me the butt of a joke just because I’m not committed to someone.

How can I get my family off my case?


Tired of Questions

Dear Tired of Questions,

It’s your life – not your family’s – but hey, there’s nothing wrong with breaking out into a little Beyoncé.

If you’re satisfied with your friend-with-benefits situation, don’t change it up just because someone else told you it wasn’t enough. People have different views on relationships, and sometimes relatives give us their opinions when we weren’t asking for them.

Grin and bear the holiday break interrogations. We’re all hounded over our jobs, relationships, grades, diet, career goals … you name it. This is just the one thing that your family has clung to.

Hey, at least be grateful that they can’t nag you about a dwindling GPA or an expanding waistband, right?

Next time your family pries about the guys in your life, keep the deets on the hush-hush. The less information you give them, the better. Maybe throw in “I’ve been asked out, but he wasn’t my type,” to keep them guessing. What you divulge is up to you.

For a more direct approach, reciprocate the question. When auntie asks where the boyfriend is, ask her why her third husband left. That’ll shut her up right quick.

I kid, I kid! Just keep doing your thing and don’t worry about what the fam thinks. Sure, the Q&A can be annoying, but I guarantee that all of us are nagged about something around the Christmas tree when we head back home from school.

Maybe that’s why the eggnog keeps disappearing so quickly.

Be thankful that your family cares enough about you to ask, and let off some steam with your friend when you return from the holidays.


January 13, 2016



Advice Columnist

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