Dear V: Familiar face turning dreams into nightmares

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Dear V,

I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend. She’s smart, sweet, funny … basically everything I could ask for. We’ve been together since freshman year and will be graduating in the spring. But something keeps happening. I’ve been trying to control it, but it’s gotten out of hand. I keep having inappropriate dreams about … my girlfriend’s mom. I don’t know how to stop it or what’s causing it.

I love my girlfriend and don’t want anyone else. I think it’s just happening because I’ve been hanging around her folks a lot. Please help. I feel so uncomfortable around them now, but there’s no way to tell my girlfriend the truth of what’s going on. She’s already noticed I don’t like being at her house anymore and is frustrated because I don’t have an explanation to give her.

What do I do to get all of this to stop? I’d love to hit the hay and keep my girl’s mom away.

Sincerely,

Stacy’s Boyfriend

Dear Stacy’s Boyfriend,

Wow – you’ve really gotten yourself between a rock and a hard place. Your choices are between being honest or coming up with a reason to not be around your girl’s family as much as usual, both of which make you look like the worst boyfriend ever.

Obviously, don’t tell her the truth. I never condone lying, as most issues can be solved when both people involved are clear and honest with each other, but this case is truly an exception.

No matter how you explain it, your girlfriend will be disgusted if she knows what’s inspiring your naughty nighttimes. Do not tell her, even if you feel like being honest is the right thing to do. It’s not.

Let’s come up with the least offensive way to avoid your girl’s fam. How about joining a new club on campus with frequent meetings, perhaps? Or maybe you need to study for an exam that conveniently falls on the Monday following the weekend your girlfriend wants to spend with her ‘rents? You could even say that you feel like you’re not spending enough quality time with your own family and ditch your potential in-laws for a while.

Endure this rough patch in your snooze fests – perhaps try some NyQuil or Advil PM to knock you out before your REM can get raunchy. As long as you avoid your girl’s mom for a while, she should leave your subconscious. Remember that dreams don’t hold any real meaning, but instead have random people in them. So try not to obsess over it too much. That’ll only make it worse. Seeing your girl’s mom less in real life should help your dreams become normal again – teeth falling out, standing naked in class and all.

Hey, maybe you’ll even see her in your nightmares next.

Good luck, and don’t let the bed bugs bite.

-V

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