Dear V

Dear V: Ridin’ solo or no-go?

Dear V,

One of my goals has always been to study abroad before I graduate. Recently, an opportunity has come up to spend a year abroad in Spain, which would be a dream come true for me as I’ve been studying Spanish since I started high school. However, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for the last two years, and the time spent apart might hurt our relationship. I don’t want to pass up an opportunity like this, but I don’t know if I can be in a long-distance relationship for a year. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Afraid of Choices

Dear Afraid of Choices,

While college is the time of your life when dozens of opportunities are thrown at you left and right, it’s also the time when you have to learn to prioritize the things in life that you value.

See if it’s possible for your boyfriend to tag along on the trip. If not, you may have to accept that you’re between a rock and a hard place. But stay optimistic. You’re choosing between the two things that would make you equally happy: traveling or spending more time with your beau.

The first thing you’ll have to do is hash it out with your boyfriend. Sure, discussing these kinds of things can be emotionally draining, but if your boyfriend admires your ambition and wants you to achieve your goals, he should respect that you’ve included him in the conversation.

Decide as a pair between splitting or going long-distance if you choose to go abroad. If you call it quits, understand that traveling will be a bittersweet experience and your tapas may be filled with tears for the first couple of weeks. However, realize that you’d also enjoy the experience of salsa dancing with a new group of guys while overseas.

If you go long-distance, it won’t be easy. Between being unable to see each other in person for a year, having to keep each other updated through texts, calls and newly rainbow-puking snaps while possibly running the risk of one of you finding someone else (or worse, cheating), there’s much to fear when you switch to long distance.

Ultimately, the decision of whether you go abroad is up to you. While staying behind with your boyfriend is the easier option, in the end, it’ll lead to resentment – you’ll always wonder if you should have gone anyway.

Make the decision that’s best for you and your passport, and let the chips fall as they may.

-V

September 27, 2015

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

UM chatter: • One lesson learned in recent years, as one UM official put it: Don’t get your hopes up ...

The unopened Christmas gift that University of Miami defensive coordinator Manny Diaz recently spoke ...

Joseph Yearby declared early for the NFL draft. Gus Edwards transferred to Rutgers. Trayone Gray is ...

The University of Miami is in conversations about playing the University of Alabama to kick off the ...

He’s all grown up. Yet University of Miami defensive end Scott Patchan is only 20. Two reconstructiv ...

University of Miami students and researchers are blogging during a month-long expedition in the Gulf ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

UM students talk about their internships up north in a city that never sleeps. ...

Former University of Miami Dean of Students William W. ‘Bill’ Sandler, Jr. passed away on August 6 a ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.