Dear V

Dear V: Ridin’ solo or no-go?

Dear V,

One of my goals has always been to study abroad before I graduate. Recently, an opportunity has come up to spend a year abroad in Spain, which would be a dream come true for me as I’ve been studying Spanish since I started high school. However, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for the last two years, and the time spent apart might hurt our relationship. I don’t want to pass up an opportunity like this, but I don’t know if I can be in a long-distance relationship for a year. What should I do?


Afraid of Choices

Dear Afraid of Choices,

While college is the time of your life when dozens of opportunities are thrown at you left and right, it’s also the time when you have to learn to prioritize the things in life that you value.

See if it’s possible for your boyfriend to tag along on the trip. If not, you may have to accept that you’re between a rock and a hard place. But stay optimistic. You’re choosing between the two things that would make you equally happy: traveling or spending more time with your beau.

The first thing you’ll have to do is hash it out with your boyfriend. Sure, discussing these kinds of things can be emotionally draining, but if your boyfriend admires your ambition and wants you to achieve your goals, he should respect that you’ve included him in the conversation.

Decide as a pair between splitting or going long-distance if you choose to go abroad. If you call it quits, understand that traveling will be a bittersweet experience and your tapas may be filled with tears for the first couple of weeks. However, realize that you’d also enjoy the experience of salsa dancing with a new group of guys while overseas.

If you go long-distance, it won’t be easy. Between being unable to see each other in person for a year, having to keep each other updated through texts, calls and newly rainbow-puking snaps while possibly running the risk of one of you finding someone else (or worse, cheating), there’s much to fear when you switch to long distance.

Ultimately, the decision of whether you go abroad is up to you. While staying behind with your boyfriend is the easier option, in the end, it’ll lead to resentment – you’ll always wonder if you should have gone anyway.

Make the decision that’s best for you and your passport, and let the chips fall as they may.


September 27, 2015



Advice Columnist

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