Dear V

Dear V: Texting under the influence

Dear V,

A past hookup of mine sent me a text this weekend at the infamous booty call hour of two in the morning. He knows I’m newly single and looking to Netflix and chill, so I don’t mind that he made a move. The thing is, he came on much more strongly than usual. Between heart-eyed emojis, lots of typos and a confession of seeing me as “more than a friend,” I’m pretty sure this guy drunkenly confessed he has the feels for me. I’m not sure what to do because I don’t know whether to take his texts seriously or not. We’ve all sent a few regrettable drunk texts we didn’t mean, but these went from zero to 100 real quick.

What should I respond – if at all?


Single but Sober


Dear Single but Sober,

As much as you may want to pass this off as your average booty call, your gut is telling you otherwise – or you wouldn’t be worrying about it so much.

The funny thing about drinking is that it doesn’t make you want anything different than what you want when you’re sober – it just lowers your inhibitions about how you get it. Your brain isn’t as quick at stopping you from acting on an impulse, like telling the girl of your dreams you dig her or going to McDonald’s at dawn for that large fries and McFlurry you just can’t resist.

Your hookup is probably dashing to class with “Sunglasses and Advil” right now, shaking his head while deleting the texts he sent you. However, there’s probably a teeny-tiny part of him hoping you’ll respond and admit you’ve got the feels for him, too.

As they say, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” Keep that in mind when responding.

Whether or not you like this guy, be as kind as you can and try not to make him feel worse than he already does about his conviction of TUI (texting under the influence). Maybe he’ll apologize and take it back, leaving you in the clear, or maybe being drunk was his excuse for finally getting it off his chest.

Whether you keep it casual or kick things up a notch, it’s up to you. Answer the text with as much tact as you can – leave out the LOLs and winky faces just this once – and maybe next time you two get together, you can both get drunk and have a good time.

Phones turned off, of course. Maybe even set up a new passcode for yourself.

For that matter, leave your phone at home.


September 2, 2015



Advice Columnist

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