Dear V

Dear V: When his longjohn isn’t long

Dear V,

I’m seeing a new guy that I’m totally having a crush on.

He’s attractive, smart, fun to be with and has a great sense of humor – he’s everything I’m looking for. We took it slow before being intimate, so I was excited to finally get to know him with the lights off. Last night, we went out before going home together, and there was so much chemistry between us I couldn’t wait to climb into bed. But… I felt underwhelmed when things got to the nitty gritty. The thing is, you might say he’s the whole package, except for the “package” itself. Now, I really like this guy – but I felt unsatisfied in the sack. How do I ask the guy I’m seeing to help me out in bed without hurting his ego?


Disappointed Diane

Dear Diane,

Here’s the sitch: this isn’t as bad as you think it is.

We live in a world full of wonderful gadgets and gizmos created to cater to a myriad of raunchy requests – one of those being from the slightly less endowed men in our lives and their lovely ladies. Yes, it’s all right to feel a tiny bit disappointed, but it doesn’t mean that all bets are off for you and your guy.

In fact, this slight bump in the road of what seems like an otherwise perfect match may encourage you two to get to know each other’s interests on an even more personal level. You could ask him to make the pregame to the main event last a bit longer and help you enjoy yourself more, or you could even suggest bringing in extra equipment.

Why don’t you two take a couple’s trip to the store and buy something starting with my favorite letter: V?

If you are not up to that kind of task yet, just take it slow and don’t psych your guy out. And please, don’t tell him his junk is less than impressive – he doesn’t need anyone to tell him that to figure it out for himself. Between laughs in the locker rooms in middle school, studious measurements with rulers and occasional research online, he knows he’s less than average.

But that doesn’t mean your experience has to be. There are all kinds of ways for you two to enjoy your time together, and it doesn’t just have to be with one body part.

So, sit your guy down, talk about something you think would help you, saddle up and prepare to have a good time. He may be small, but that doesn’t mean he’s a one trick pony.

– V

August 26, 2015



Advice Columnist

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