Dear V

Dear V: Back-to-school breakup

Dear V,

Over the summer, I had a fling with a close guy friend. We went to high school together and are heading off to different colleges this year, so I took a play from Demi Lovato’s book: we’d be “Cool for the Summer” and that would be it. However, it seems my friend took our fling more seriously than I did. Last night, I got the infamous “What are we?” text. Now, the only Lovato song playing in my head is “Heart Attack.” I don’t want to break his heart, but I don’t want to enter my freshman year with a ball and chain, either. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Not Ready for an LDR

Dear Not Ready,

Instead of hoping for an endless summer with eternal sand, sun and romps in the sack, you may want to think twice about leaving things undefined. If you’re just looking to let off steam and break a sweat when the heat of the season peaks, you shouldn’t string along a guy who’s hoping to dub you “bae” and bring you pumpkin spice lattes when fall hits. Plus, nobody wants to enter freshman year with strings attached.

Unless he’s your soulmate, Skype, text and Snapchat will only last so long until you start to notice cuties on campus. So, let’s cut the cord.

First, don’t dump your dude over text. Sure, it’s easy and it’s not like you were dating anyway, but if he’s digging on you, “See ya, lol ;)” will crush him. Invite him out to coffee to break the news.

Second, don’t make up excuses. You’re a small fish in a big sea. You’ve got four years ahead of you to sample the selection and you don’t want to spend it pining for someone miles away. Tell him you hope you can still be friends.

Third, let him decide what happens next. It’s not up to you whether you two remain buds or not. He might not be able to get over what happened and that’s his choice.

Fourth, might I suggest another Demi song? “Give Your Heart a Break.” Don’t jump into something else too soon. Focus on getting A’s, not just D’s.

There are plenty of college students out there avoiding commitment, so make sure to find one who’s willing to define that lack of definition in the future. Good luck!

-V

August 23, 2015

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

The Miami Hurricanes, still waiting for a starting quarterback to be named, are in the top 25 again. ...

Happy first day of school for everyone out there, including the University of Miami students. We jus ...

With the University of Miami season opener closing in, the next starting quarterback has yet to be n ...

The second fall scrimmage, closed to the media and public, is over. University of Miami coach Mark R ...

1. DOLPHINS: Fins any good? 'Dress rehearsal' may tell: Opening win, then lopsided loss. W ...

UM’s new chief academic officer holds some 40 patents, and in 2017 was inducted into the National Ac ...

University of Miami students and researchers are blogging during a month-long expedition in the Gulf ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

UM students talk about their internships up north in a city that never sleeps. ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.