Dear V

Dear V: Taylor Swift-inspired tips for gauging guys

Dear V,

I’ve been talking to a guy for a few weeks. We’ve only spent time together in groups with our friends, but he asked me out on a date this weekend. We’re both very attracted to each other, so I’m scared things will immediately become physical. I want to wait long enough to make sure sex isn’t all he’s planning. How do I figure out what he wants without asking directly?


Tired of Hookups

Dear Tired of Hookups,

It can be frustrating to not know what someone’s intentions are when you’re first getting to know them. You don’t want to send your man running for the hills by dropping the infamous “What are we?” just yet.

Let’s find a more subtle way for you to find out what he’s aiming for without ending up feeling burned.

Guys aren’t that hard to figure out. Just ask Taylor Swift – she can read them “like a magazine.” Here are some Swift-inspired guidelines to follow that will help you  gauge your guy’s intentions:

“White Horse:” Avoid guys who want to be your everything. A genuine guy will treat you as an equal, not as a damsel in distress who he can sweep off her feet. Smooth talkers tend to convince you they’re perfect, but in reality, they’re just as flawed as everyone else.

“Our Song:” Look for a guy who will introduce you to his friends, interests and hobbies. If he’s interested in showing you who he really is instead of keeping you at arm’s length, you’re in the clear. Guys who only want sex won’t take the risk of letting you get to know them.

“Mine:” If your guy starts throwing around words that are heavy handed, he might be serious. “Honey,” “sweetheart” and the infamous “bae” all suggest he’s planning more than just hooking up.

“I Knew You Were Trouble:” If your best friends are telling you that the guy you’re seeing might be a bad boy, they might be right.

Odds are, you’re too excited to realize you’re opening yourself up to someone who isn’t right for you. Don’t be afraid to listen to advice, so long as you stick to your gut.

“Blank Space:” If a guy is suddenly inviting you out and going somewhere wouldn’t feel right without him, you’re both probably feeling some type of way for each other. If it’s hard to go a day without talking, listen to that intuition.

Ultimately, keep Taylor’s tips in mind when you decide if this guy is the real deal, and you’ll end up with your own unique “Love Story.”


April 22, 2015



Advice Columnist

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