Dear V

Dear V: Lighting up instead of hooking up…


My boyfriend and I both smoke weed. I don’t like it as much as he does so I only smoke once every few weeks. He’s been known to get high almost every day, and he smokes a lot more now than he used to when we first started dating. Normally, this wouldn’t bother me. However, recently, his sex drive has plummeted. We have sex at most once a week. It’s just not enough for me. I’m starting to get upset. What should I do?


Mary Jane

Dear Mary Jane,

If your boyfriend was a casual stoner before, the shift to smoking daily isn’t just your man emulating Snoop Dogg – he’s probably trying to cope with something.

Real life problems can’t be rolled up, lit up and puffed away. He needs to be real with you and what’s on his mind – not turn up Kid Cudi’s “Marijuana” and tune you out.

Talk to your boyfriend. Some people use drugs as an escape to avoid their emotions. You can’t possibly be upset about your GPA and student debt while watching old SpongeBob episodes and eating Cheetos.

However, this might not be the case. Maybe he just needs more weed to get the same effect as he used to.

There’s nothing wrong with a guy who loves ganja as much as he loves you, so long as he can maintain the balance. However, it sounds like he’s flubbing up his end of the deal: keeping you satisfied between the sheets.

Because weed can be known to decrease a smoker’s libido, this might be the case.

The green is making you blue.

Tell your boyfriend he needs to step up his game. Don’t be afraid to be blunt with him – after all, intimacy is a joint issue that affects both of you.

You could always try sending a text to the dealer to see what’s up. There isn’t anybody who knows your guy’s habits better than the one who’s taking his money.

Or, you could smoke with him while you have sex and see if he starts to associate sex with weed. Next time he’s rolling a joint, he’ll pull a Pavlov and want to get freaky with you. It’s a win-win, stoner style.

If all else fails, find a new beau. Don’t be with somebody who chooses a drug over you or influences you to change your own ways. What’s more, find a guy who won’t forget about giving you the TLC you need while he’s getting his fix of THC.


April 19, 2015



Advice Columnist

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