Dear V

Dear V: Going into battle without gear


I’ve been seeing the same guy for about six months now. We’re not in a relationship, and that’s okay with me. I’m alright with the “friends with benefits” type of deal, except there’s one problem: He’s pressuring me to go without protection. He keeps trying to make me feel guilty, saying that I’m being inconsiderate because the experience isn’t enjoyable for him when we use protection. I want him to have fun, but I’m scared to do that. He’s not even my boyfriend. What should I do?


Scared but Prepared

Dear Scared but Prepared,

If a guy doesn’t respect your wishes between the sheets, kick him to the curb. A real man wouldn’t take the risk of you becoming his baby mama, especially since he’s not even into you enough to take you out to dinner.

I don’t think you want to be up at two in the morning with a bottle and binky while studying for that biology exam you’ve been freaking out about and trying to keep a social life at the same time. If you do, then carry on.

This isn’t about pleasure. If he’s stuck around for the last six months, I’d bet he’s enjoying himself.

Any guy who would put himself into that kind of situation isn’t just a bit risky, but probably gets a thrill from taking chances. That’s not someone I’d trust my body with.

Clearly, he’s more about getting his fix than helping you to get yours, and that’s not the point of having a friend with benefits. He’s supposed to be your friend, too, right? Someone who cares about you wouldn’t put you in this kind of situation.

Going without the rubber, jacket or raincoat is your choice, but don’t put yourself in the line of fire for someone like that. At least let it be someone you care about who will be there for you if something unexpected pops up – like a baby.

It’s not just about the risk of getting pregnant, but all those fun little bugs you could pick up while you’re rolling around in the sack. That itch or rash will stay around much longer than your guy will, and I’m sure that’s not how you’d like to remember your college years.

Get a move on before you end up making a mistake you can’t take back.

And remember, wrap it before you tap it.


March 29, 2015



Advice Columnist

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