V's Take

Dear V: Going into battle without gear

V,

I’ve been seeing the same guy for about six months now. We’re not in a relationship, and that’s okay with me. I’m alright with the “friends with benefits” type of deal, except there’s one problem: He’s pressuring me to go without protection. He keeps trying to make me feel guilty, saying that I’m being inconsiderate because the experience isn’t enjoyable for him when we use protection. I want him to have fun, but I’m scared to do that. He’s not even my boyfriend. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Scared but Prepared

Dear Scared but Prepared,

If a guy doesn’t respect your wishes between the sheets, kick him to the curb. A real man wouldn’t take the risk of you becoming his baby mama, especially since he’s not even into you enough to take you out to dinner.

I don’t think you want to be up at two in the morning with a bottle and binky while studying for that biology exam you’ve been freaking out about and trying to keep a social life at the same time. If you do, then carry on.

This isn’t about pleasure. If he’s stuck around for the last six months, I’d bet he’s enjoying himself.

Any guy who would put himself into that kind of situation isn’t just a bit risky, but probably gets a thrill from taking chances. That’s not someone I’d trust my body with.

Clearly, he’s more about getting his fix than helping you to get yours, and that’s not the point of having a friend with benefits. He’s supposed to be your friend, too, right? Someone who cares about you wouldn’t put you in this kind of situation.

Going without the rubber, jacket or raincoat is your choice, but don’t put yourself in the line of fire for someone like that. At least let it be someone you care about who will be there for you if something unexpected pops up – like a baby.

It’s not just about the risk of getting pregnant, but all those fun little bugs you could pick up while you’re rolling around in the sack. That itch or rash will stay around much longer than your guy will, and I’m sure that’s not how you’d like to remember your college years.

Get a move on before you end up making a mistake you can’t take back.

And remember, wrap it before you tap it.

V

March 29, 2015

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

It’s the play Miami Hurricanes fans will never forget — and Florida State fans are trying to forget. ...

Miami Hurricanes fans might recall their favorite college football players in past years dreaming of ...

The new quarterback is usually the ones fans gush over. For the University of Miami, last season it ...

Debate all you want, but University of Miami football coach Mark Richt made it clearer than ever Wed ...

Last year, when University of Miami tailback Mark Walton attended the Atlantic Coast Conference Foot ...

UM dining services team earns national recognition for special event catering. ...

From hammerheads to great whites, University of Miami researcher Neil Hammerschlag is a dedicated sp ...

An ACLU report authored by UM sociologists documents racial and ethnic disparities in Miami-Dade Cou ...

Following the summit between Trump and Putin, reaction from politicians, pundits and former intellig ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

Miami senior Tyler Gauthier was named to the 2018 Fall Watch List for the Rimington Trophy presented ...

Miami junior wide receiver Ahmmon Richards was among those named to the watch list for the 2018 Bile ...

University of Miami junior running back Travis Homer was named a preseason candidate for the Doak Wa ...

Six former Canes competed on NBA Summer League teams, with three averaging at least 10 points per ga ...

Quick Hits gives University of Miami volleyball fans an opportunity to get to know the new student-a ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.