Dear V

Dear V: Stuck in the friend zone…


Living in Miami, I am constantly surrounded by fake boobs, sculpted abs and the ever-present sight of the bottom half of girls’ butt cheeks. As a girl of a larger size (and I don’t mean Meghan Trainor, more like Adele pre-weight loss or a Jill Scott), how do I grab a guy’s attention? I am very comfortable in my skin and have a lot of male friends who think I am “real cool.” How do I make guys stop seeing me as the homegirl and let them see me as the girl they want to bring home to their mom?


Sexless in the City

Dear Sexless in the City,

You’re stuck in the role that Katy Perry hated, “One of the Boys.” Hey, you’ve got good company, right? Guys drool over Katy and her assets.

It’s tough being a chameleon. You change yourself to fit in with the gang, but once it’s too late, you realize you’d rather be the girl that guys are chasing than part of “The Hangover’s” Wolfpack.

Being included is nice, but what about when you want a kiss instead of a bro-fist?

First, stay comfortable in your skin. Remember sexiness comes in all different-sized packages. Just because Miami seems to prefer the bleached-blonde bobblehead doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love what you have to offer – curves, brains, and a personality, to boot.

You could always change your hair, start wearing more makeup, and flirt with your “bros,” but then you’d be risking being burned and make it awkward for the clique.

Instead, find a guy outside your circle. He won’t know that you laugh at fart jokes, that you can whoop anyone’s butt at Xbox, or that you actually know how football works. He won’t know that you prefer “Breaking Bad” to “Gossip Girl” or that you’d skip a day out shopping to go to the bar and watch the game over some cheesy fries and a beer.

Don’t change who you actually are, just embrace that chameleon spirit of yours and adjust to the situation. Go on a few dates with this new guy while you’re experimenting with your girly side. Playing a new role can be fun – and with him, you’ll be center stage, rather than a co-star.

And who knows? Maybe if your boys see eye-candy around your arm a few times, they might start to get “jelly” and see you in a different light. So, just branch out of your normal circle, and see what happens when you flaunt your femininity.


March 4, 2015



Advice Columnist

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