O-Cheer’s uneven distribution of intensity

Anytime an event has vuvuzelas, you know it’s gonna get rowdy.

I have never rushed a fraternity, so when I strolled over to the UC patio for Greek Week’s O-Cheer, I had no idea what to expect – except for scores of selfies.

Apparently, every year, a big, fat wad of Greek organizations gather around a stage and compete with scripted performances filled with dances, sketch comedies and spandex.

Fraternities and sororities are grouped together and divided by color, so the entire patio looks like a Crayola 64-pack of lettered shirts lacking sleeves.

However, as I observed the dense sea of students (think Chipotle at rush hour), one thing I immediately noticed was the disparity in mentality between the frats and sors.

As I descended the steps and almost kicked over a beer, a lost, stumbling frat-star with a cigarette and a backwards hat leaned over to me and asked, “Have you seen the yellow team?” I was surprised he presumed I aligned with Greek life, considering that I was wearing a suit – and most of the guys there were actually just wearing body paint.

Meanwhile, the majority of the female organizations were sporting intense expressions and practicing the most crucial and intricate parts of their routines.

“I had to audition to get to dance,” a sorority sister said. “Only one guy from the frat we were paired with even showed up to our practices.”

Frankly, this confused me. I was not expecting a lackadaisical approach to an event that could allow fraternities to prove they were kings of the castle. Or maybe I just didn’t understand.

“My frat just doesn’t need to practice,” said one tall, quite loud individual. “We’re the kind of guys that just show up to have fun and still win anyway.” I had a feeling that was also his approach to leg day.

And though they were mostly just goofing around the outskirts of the area, the frat stars did leave me with some new insights on life. For example, men can now wear tie-dye.

Also, men are content with sporting a tank that doesn’t cover their man boobs. Oh, and apparently not only do cowboys wear plaid, but they also can perform step. Where else could I have gathered such crucial cultural fundamentals? Thanks, college.

Regardless, O-Cheer is an event centered on raising awareness and money for cerebral palsy, so I respect their efforts.

My own two cents: if the sororities are looking to boost the morale and motivate the frats to participate with further intensity, maybe they should just change next year’s event to O-Beer.

Danny New is a sophomore majoring in broadcast journalism. “The Maturity Column” runs each Monday.