Dear V

Dear V: Can I go back on a breakup?


About a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I still love him, but I was bored in the bedroom and had been talking to another guy.

For a couple weeks now, I’ve been seeing the new guy. He keeps me on my toes, literally and figuratively, but I don’t feel he cares about me at all. We rarely talk about things that aren’t sexual, and I’m starting to think I’m being used.

I want to go back to my ex-boyfriend, but I’m not sure that is the right thing to do. Please help!



Dear Undecided,

Katy Perry must have you in mind when she sings “Hot N Cold.”

Ask yourself why you threw away a stable relationship in order to pursue a meaningless fling.

Is it because these guys aren’t right for you, or because you’re not ready to be involved with someone yet?

You’re using this second guy as much as he’s using you, and not in the fun, “50 Shades of Grey” kind of way. Well, if that’s your idea of fun anyway.

He’s a rebound to get over your ex, yet you’re already considering flying back to your comfy bird’s nest.

My suggestion? Ditch both of the guys, and start givin’ yourself some lovin’.

Enjoy a spa day and get your nails done, or grab a few of your friends for coffee and talk about life.

If that’s not your style, grab a bag of Cheetos and go play “Grand Theft Auto V” for a few hours, or go kick around a soccer ball with a classmate.

You need to be happy with yourself and your own life before you bring someone else into the picture.

When you’re ready to have a healthy relationship, you’ll find someone you love for who they are, not what they can offer you.

And if you’re too busy for any of these activities, you can always string one of them along. You get some free compliments and he believes he’s doing something right. Sounds like a win-win situation.

Good luck. By the way, let me know if you need a spa buddy.


February 25, 2015



Advice Columnist

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