Dear V

Behind the mask: costumes decoded

Halloween is only a day away, uncomfortably sandwiched between a sub-par concert and a game that Ol’ V will definitely not be awake for.

However, Oct. 31 is a staple of college culture and will therefore be an important day for relationship scouting.

Let’s face it. Though you go to college to find your career, in between classes you are looking for a mate. Whether this is because you want to date or actually mate, though, is up to you.

Nevertheless, as I have recommended in previous issues, everyone will dress up to somehow express themselves. In an age when interaction is plagued by students hiding behind their devices and read receipts, this is a prime occasion where judgment can be based on the exterior.

So, here is V’s official “What Each Costume Tells You about a Person”

Ebola

These people are insensitive, probably never had to deal with a deadly disease, may like puns and don’t understand that you would probably get Ebola if you wore that costume.

Cat, Mouse or Bunny

These people are boring. They probably have worn that exact same costume since high school and most likely are itching to show off that belly button ring. They only came to drink.

Metaphor or Pun (i.e. Eggs Over Easy)

These people are witty, like to try hard and crave attention. They have high GPAs and started planning this costume on Nov. 1 last year.

A Pixar character or Minion

These people do not believe in growing up. They find potty humor hilarious – especially the word “poop.” These people are proud of themselves and are not afraid to show it. These spandex-clad individuals think the only thing they have to offer are their bodies.

Something actually scary

None of these people have ever seen “Mean Girls.” They probably did not get a lot of attention from their parents as a child – or too much – but they’ll get a good laugh from scaring people in the Stacks at night.

V

October 29, 2014

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

A six-pack of Canes notes on a Thursday: • Defensive coordinator Manny Diaz has an interesting theor ...

Juwan Dowels vividly remembers his first winter on the Syracuse University campus. Like the other 11 ...

The University of Miami football team has another player with a season-ending injury — and this one ...

University of Miami men’s basketball coach Jim Larrañaga received a grand jury subpoena for his phon ...

Get ready for an avalanche of University of Miami defensive backs and linemen descending on the Hard ...

Univeristy of Miami’s Wynwood Art Gallery holds its annual faculty exhibition featuring thought-prov ...

From a game simulating how whales navigate to a tribute to Ella Fitzgerald, the U showcased some of ...

A new mobile game called Blues and Reds, now available worldwide, aims to help researchers study int ...

A major Lancet Commission report, a three-year project headed by UM’s Professor Felicia Knaul and co ...

With a $6.8 million NIH grant, the UM School of Nursing and Health Studies and FIU Robert Stempel Co ...

The Miami soccer team registered a 3-0 victory over Pittsburgh Thursday night at Cobb Stadium behind ...

Five members of the Miami women's tennis team will open play Friday at the ITA Southeast Region ...

As a Hurricane Club member, you are invited to participate in the 25th Annual University of Miami Ha ...

Here are three matchups to watch Saturday as the Hurricanes take on the Syracuse Orange at Hard Rock ...

The University of Miami men's basketball team will begin the season as No. 12 in the USA TODAY ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.