Dear V

V in a Shonda Rhimes world…

As we move through the first week of fall TV, I’d like to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming of sexual escapades and share some of my favorite fantasies with you.

But not just any fantasies. These fantasies are inspired by the one and only, Shonda Rhimes, creator of some of the most cliff-hanging shows on television and my personal hero.

Here is a peek at some of my recurring dreams during fall TV season.

V’s Anatomy

A giant astroid has landed meters from Seattle Grace Hospital. Dr. Sloane (a.k.a. McSteamy) just told me that he can’t be with me because he’s been seeing someone else. I was shocked, but not shocked enough to perform an emergency surgery on a group of kids returning from their first trip to the zoo.

As I wander the halls with sad folk music, Dr. Shepard (a.k.a. McDreamy) eyes me with his piercing blue eyes. I pretend not to notice because that’s what a strong, educated doctor does. Eventually, I follow him and we’re suddenly engaged in hot, passionate lovemaking. This is, of course, happening in a supply closet. And I – like most of you – don’t understand why there has to be a McDreamy and a McSteamy, but hey, I’m not complaining. That just means there are more men for me to think about… but I digress.

Finally, after every patient except one of the kids – my favorite – from the zoo is saved, I find myself yearning for something more. I should not have to decide between McSteamy and McDreamy. Even as I ponder about this major life choice for the remaining 25 minutes of a 50-minute program, I finish the day in the arms of McSteamy. Because he’s the hottest one and I can’t resist a silver fox.

My Many Dates with the President

In honor of the sexy, political drama “Scandal,” my rendition involves many Kerry Washington-like faces. In the show, Washington’s character Olivia Pope fixes people’s scandals but she also has a long-term relationship with the president of the United States.

I had just solved a case. A female politician wants to hide from the public that she donated her eggs when she was 21 to pay for college – this plot is so Shonda Rhimes.

Having solved the case and reunited mother and daughter, I use my presidential privileges in more ways than one. The president demands an executive order that I kiss him, and before you know it, I’ll need a pardon so that I have a chance at re-election. I make many wincing, hurt and confused faces before I realize that I indeed do belong with the president and there is no other man for me. Not even Jake, who runs B-613 and, frankly, my heart as well.

I hope I’m not alone in these fantasies, and there’s not much more to say about “Scandal” and “Grey’s Anatomy.” But as far as “How to Get Away with Murder” goes, it’s safe to say that I’m very excited because of the premiere. I anticipate many a prisoner, law student and successful lawyer love triangle, and I see many more exciting dreams in my future.

Happy TV-watching.


September 24, 2014



Advice Columnist

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