Dear V

Dear V: I might have to dance for a chance …

 

V,

I’m on my merry way to graduation, but I can’t seem to shake off this feeling. I’ve always wanted to strip, and since I can’t pay for graduate school, the option is becoming more enticing. I’ve heard strippers make great money and have fun doing it. Should I pursue this course? If I can’t, then I may have to consider putting off school for a year.

Sincerely, 

Flash Dance

Dear Roxanne,

We’ve all wanted to be that maniac at one point in time. Unfortunately, you won’t get splashed at the end of this “night job.”

Stripping is not as glamorous as the ‘80s made it seem. There’s a lot of work that goes into exotic dancing, and I’m sure your short stint with Pilates won’t have developed your core strength enough to hold up all that leather. Plus, squeezing yourself into those outfits would be a challenge in and of itself. 

Don’t take this decision lightly; grad school would probably be a lot easier than the perils of working the pole. 

You should talk to people in the business if you’re really considering this. “Magic Mike” is not the end-all be-all of the stripping experience. 

I recommend you try it out for a night or two before finally committing. After all, what would mom and dad think about their perfect little angel taking dollar bills from yuppies getting out of their Wall Street jobs? I’m sure your parental unit won’t be too happy that their $160,000 investment went rogue. 

Use your expensive four-year education to pursue the career you’ve always wanted. We’re all going to have some tough times to get through, but that doesn’t mean we have to resort to extreme measures. Get creative with your time in the coming years and see if you can pick up an extra job that doesn’t require showing your goods to strangers. 

Stripping is temporary but your education will always remain. You can take the girl out of the classroom but you can’t take the classroom out of the girl … you know?

And if this is something that you’re set on doing, just remember that there are strip aerobics classes offered at gyms across the country. You’ll be able to get your fill of dirty dancing and maybe even meet your very own Patrick Swayze. 

Or if you want, email me and I’ll come pour a bucket of water on you sometime. 

V

 

April 23, 2014

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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