V's Take

Dear V: I might have to dance for a chance …

 

V,

I’m on my merry way to graduation, but I can’t seem to shake off this feeling. I’ve always wanted to strip, and since I can’t pay for graduate school, the option is becoming more enticing. I’ve heard strippers make great money and have fun doing it. Should I pursue this course? If I can’t, then I may have to consider putting off school for a year.

Sincerely, 

Flash Dance

Dear Roxanne,

We’ve all wanted to be that maniac at one point in time. Unfortunately, you won’t get splashed at the end of this “night job.”

Stripping is not as glamorous as the ‘80s made it seem. There’s a lot of work that goes into exotic dancing, and I’m sure your short stint with Pilates won’t have developed your core strength enough to hold up all that leather. Plus, squeezing yourself into those outfits would be a challenge in and of itself. 

Don’t take this decision lightly; grad school would probably be a lot easier than the perils of working the pole. 

You should talk to people in the business if you’re really considering this. “Magic Mike” is not the end-all be-all of the stripping experience. 

I recommend you try it out for a night or two before finally committing. After all, what would mom and dad think about their perfect little angel taking dollar bills from yuppies getting out of their Wall Street jobs? I’m sure your parental unit won’t be too happy that their $160,000 investment went rogue. 

Use your expensive four-year education to pursue the career you’ve always wanted. We’re all going to have some tough times to get through, but that doesn’t mean we have to resort to extreme measures. Get creative with your time in the coming years and see if you can pick up an extra job that doesn’t require showing your goods to strangers. 

Stripping is temporary but your education will always remain. You can take the girl out of the classroom but you can’t take the classroom out of the girl … you know?

And if this is something that you’re set on doing, just remember that there are strip aerobics classes offered at gyms across the country. You’ll be able to get your fill of dirty dancing and maybe even meet your very own Patrick Swayze. 

Or if you want, email me and I’ll come pour a bucket of water on you sometime. 

V

 

April 23, 2014

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

It’s the play Miami Hurricanes fans will never forget — and Florida State fans are trying to forget. ...

Miami Hurricanes fans might recall their favorite college football players in past years dreaming of ...

The new quarterback is usually the ones fans gush over. For the University of Miami, last season it ...

Debate all you want, but University of Miami football coach Mark Richt made it clearer than ever Wed ...

Last year, when University of Miami tailback Mark Walton attended the Atlantic Coast Conference Foot ...

UM dining services team earns national recognition for special event catering. ...

From hammerheads to great whites, University of Miami researcher Neil Hammerschlag is a dedicated sp ...

An ACLU report authored by UM sociologists documents racial and ethnic disparities in Miami-Dade Cou ...

Following the summit between Trump and Putin, reaction from politicians, pundits and former intellig ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

Miami senior Tyler Gauthier was named to the 2018 Fall Watch List for the Rimington Trophy presented ...

Miami junior wide receiver Ahmmon Richards was among those named to the watch list for the 2018 Bile ...

University of Miami junior running back Travis Homer was named a preseason candidate for the Doak Wa ...

Six former Canes competed on NBA Summer League teams, with three averaging at least 10 points per ga ...

Quick Hits gives University of Miami volleyball fans an opportunity to get to know the new student-a ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.