Dear V, V.Online

V.Online: Springbreakers or spring breakers?

Spring break. A time to dig your heels in the sand and stick your toes in the water. A time for shopping for seasonal bathing suits and giant hats, all for the sake of standing out in an otherwise overcrowded beach in Miami or Cancun.

We seem to forget, as we begin our breaks, that the likelihood of hooking up with someone is increased tenfold. We look forward to taking time off and partying with our friends but do we remember that there are ever-present opportunities for casual sex? Not really.

Which is why, when I went away for spring break this year, I was caught off guard. Picture this: A cruise with a few of your best girlfriends, infinite amounts of booze paid for by daddy’s credit card and single men. Single men everywhere.

What was supposed to be a girls’ weekend turned into a smorgasbord of dance parties, boozy beach days and hungover brunches. How was I supposed to be expected to control myself? It’s my last real spring break during college and I was determined to go out with a bang – or a few bangs.

I met this kid from some school up north and we hung out the entire trip. We sipped margaritas in Cancun and piña coladas in the Bahamas, and we did some other things in more private places, that may or may not have included the Caribbean Sea.

So I ask you: On your vacation were you just a springbreaker or a spring breaker? Are the headboards of your hotel rooms slightly damaged from your stay? Because if the walls of that tiny room could talk, they’d be saying things to the tune of “50 Shades of Grey.”

Nevertheless, while my friends were all happy for me, I was definitely not the most popular member of the #SB2K14 crew. I kicked my best friend out of our room at one point and she had to stay with two other girls from our trip. She hated me because she woke up with a kink in her neck … oops.

But you know what, carpe freaking diem. And I advise you all to do the same. Live your life and have sex with a stranger in the Bahamas. You’ll never see them ever again, so what’s the harm in a little roll in the hay?

Be safe, be smart and don’t get pregnant. As long as those three things are squared away, you’ll have nothing to worry about.

Enjoy your 20s, millenials, we might as well be as selfish as everyone already thinks we are.


March 20, 2014



Advice Columnist

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