V's Take

Dear V: He’s got the goods but not the looks …

V,

I started dating this guy, but he’s not exactly Brad Pitt. (Don’t blame me – I was on Tinder while under the influence and I drunk-swiped right). Still, he’s got so much going for him. He’s nice, family-oriented, owns a business and is my age. Everything is perfect about him, other than the fact that he’s not quite the looker. He also has a severe case of halitosis. What should I do? I know I sound so vain, and I know I’m no Angelina, but I can’t help but be so choosy when my heart was broken the last time I went against my heart’s wishes and dated someone I ended up loving. If I had listened to my heart in the first place, it wouldn’t have ended up broken when the person I ended up loving turned out to be such garbage.

I’m yelling (at) Tinder

 

Dear Toni Collette,

Let’s take a step back here and look at it from a larger perspective.

You’re rebounding. And that’s OK.

Seriously, it’s your constitutional and moral right as a citizen of this great nation, to exercise your power as a woman to get jiggy with it. It’s all kinds of Rosie the Riveter type feelings that I won’t go into, but the main thing you should take away from this is that you shouldn’t feel ashamed of being on Tinder. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Tinder is your friend. Tinder will get you laid. Tinder is the dating pool of the 21st Century and you should take full advantage of that.

That being said, just because you’re in need for some emotional and physical stimulation doesn’t mean that you have to endure a repulsive sexual partner for an extended period of time.

And I don’t mean to be shallow and tell you that you have to go out and find Adonis, but let’s be honest with ourselves here: That’s great that he’s a nice guy with a career and all, but if there’s no fire (and you constantly have to turn your head away to keep yourself from smelling his egg breath – which, by the way, ew) then dump that guy and move on.

I don’t care if you’re not perfect and I don’t care if you’re being choosy. You do what you want, when you want, how you want, and nobody gets to judge you for it. Unless you believe in some sort of higher power that would label you a courtesan and damn you to an afterlife in eternal hell … but even if you do, screw ‘em. You’re young, you’re single and you have a broken heart the size of Texas. Mend it with some sweet, sweet lovin’ from that dude that lives in Brickell Key and wants to take you out for drinks.

I don’t think you’re ready to fall in love again. So stop worrying about it; just live your life. After all, it’s always the unexpected shy guys that sweep you off your feet. You just have to stop looking for them.

Speaking of, I just got a new match on Tinder so I gotta bounce.

V

March 19, 2014

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Former Miami Hurricanes quarterback Robert Marve has been arrested in Hillsborough County on an out- ...

Mark Richt has led the Miami Hurricanes back into the national college football conversation during ...

University of Miami coach Mark Richt and his vaunted 2018 signing class, nicknamed #Storm18, should ...

Part four of a five-part series on UM’s defense with the start of fall camp a month away: Cornerback ...

Part three of a five-part series with the Canes' view of every player on defense: Some insight ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

University of Miami law and political science professors weigh in on Trump’s SCOTUS nominee. ...

Research bioclimatologists with the UM Synoptic Climatology Lab counsel cities on how to manage risi ...

A UM-led study is examining how children’s play behavior at beaches could impact their health. ...

Political polarization, distrust in fact-based knowledge and verbal targeting may be fueling the ons ...

University of Miami head volleyball coach Jose "Keno" Gandara announced the additions of K ...

Three-time CSCAA Honorable Mention All-American diver Wally Layland and two-time ITA All-American te ...

Miami head women's tennis coach Paige Yaroshuk-Tews announced Thursday the signing of two more ...

University of Miami head football coach Mark Richt was among the 20 coaches selected to the preseaso ...

Miami opens the Wooden Legacy against La Salle on Thanksgiving Day in Fullerton, Calif. ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.