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5 March 2014

Dear V: My boss has a bone to pick …

V,

I’m a student worker and I can’t stop thinking about my co-worker. It started out as a mere crush but has viciously grown into a full-on passionate desire for him to call me into his office, rip off my clothes and have me on top of his desk as I grab onto his perfectly tight, bubble butt and scream out his name in pure satisfaction. This wouldn’t seem so bad, but he’s more than 10 years older than me, and – wait for it – married. I realize that this makes me the worst person on earth, and I would never do anything with him unless he approached me first, but he 110 percent flirts with me on the regular. It’s getting to the point where I’m staring to think this may actually happen …

Home Wrecker

 

Dear Zoe Barnes,

There’s no harm in a little bit of fantasizing now and again. In my opinion, it’s not really a big deal to be attracted to someone that’s attached, as long as you don’t act on it.

That being said, if this guy is coming on to you, and you want it, then get it. I’m not one to suggest breaking up a marriage, but it seems like this guy isn’t too worried about his home life.

You also have to think about what you want from this “relationship.” Is this something that would just be a one-time thing, or do you want to carry this out for a longer amount of time? Because, as my mother always told me, “once a cheater, always a cheater.”

Let’s be real – this isn’t going to go anywhere. Even if the two of you give in to each other and get your freak on, the chances that it’ll go past a drunken office party hookup are slim to none.

I would say try your best to control yourself; you don’t want to be the girl that breaks up a marriage. But then again, sometimes you just have to listen to the little devil on your shoulder.

You go on and grab that bubble butt and make sure you’re careful – you don’t want to end up in a sketchy part of a D.C. subway station with Frank Underwood … things could get messy.

V