Dear V

Dear V: Passion’s a pain in the rear …

V,

I’m really self-conscious about my asshole. A close friend of mine gets hers bleached regularly, but I was wondering if that’s something everyone should do? It has become a problem because my boyfriend recently asked me if he could lick my asshole, and I just don’t want him licking it if my hairs are not almost transparent. 

Should I make like Gwen Stefani and bleach my back door? 

 

Dear Kristen Wiig,

I might be burned from personal experiences, or maybe I’m just a total cynic, but if your boyfriend is so preoccupied with licking your ass, I think it might be time for a different conversation.

Still, it’s very possible that he’s just an “ass man” and just digs that kind of stuff. But why is it necessary to lick it? Study him for a week or two, because I sense a sexual orientation issue coming your way.

But back to the question at hand – whether you should bleach your asshole.

Even if you do bleach the hairs down under, they’re still there. So if you want your man to have the time of his life licking away at your butt hole, I suggest a nice Brazilian wax. Those ladies know how to get hair out of places that you didn’t even know had follicles. Granted, since your boyfriend raves for your rear, I don’t think it matters whether you bleach or wax. He’ll enjoy it either way.

I really think you should get more comfortable with this idea before you let him do it. It seems to me like you’re about to pass out or hyperventilate just at the thought of doing this.

Do yourself a favor and shop around. Do your research and pick a place that will bleach or wax you to your satisfaction. After that, go for a walk – you’ll feel like a brand new woman.

V

February 23, 2014

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