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26 January 2014

Dear V: I’m hopeful after a hookup …

V,

I hooked up with a guy on Friday and I haven’t heard from him since. Granted, I don’t think I saved my number to his phone correctly, but still, he could’ve contacted me through a mutual friend. I think the hookup went wonderfully, but maybe I overestimated the experience. I should probably just move on to the next one, right? Or should I hang on and hope that he’ll reach out to me?

I kissed a rando and I liked it

Dear Every Single College Freshman Ever,

The chances that a drunken hookup is going to amount to anything more than that are slim to none.
While it’s still possible that this guy could text you, if I were you I would cut my losses. Who knows? Maybe you have a magical golden vagina and he just can’t get enough. Maybe he’s waiting to text you for emphasis. He could be trying to make an entrance.  You never know.
However, let’s entertain the more probable possibility – that he’ll never speak to you again. You’ll see him casually at some mutual friend’s party or at the Grove and it’ll be awkward for a bit, but you’ll get through it.
At the very least, you’ll get a consistent hookup buddy out of it. If he’s willing to hook up with you once, he’ll be willing to hook up with you again. Especially after one or two cups of Moose Juice at Moe’s.
In the meantime, just head on over to a frat party and prey on one of the unsuspecting pledges.
Ain’t nobody gonna stop you.

V