Dear V

Dear V: Three’s a crazy crowd …

V,

My best friend’s boyfriend keeps asking me to have a threesome with them. I’m definitely into a threesome, but I feel like it would be weird to do it with my best friend. I see this girl every day, and once you go there with someone, it’s definitely something you can’t undo. I don’t want to walk around with the images of these two in the bedroom constantly in my mind. Isn’t this something you’re supposed to do with strangers? If so, where exactly do I find a sexually adventurous couple?
Help a girl out.

Sincerely,
Trying to third wheel

Dear Carrie Bradshaw,

If “Sex And The City” taught us anything, it’s that if you want to have a threesome, you should do it with people you don’t know.
Friendships are complicated enough as it is. Why suffer through the added awkwardness of having to see them naked? It’s really not worth sacrificing the relationship. There’s also a very big possibility that the situation will be so awkward that the sex will be bad – and we never want sex to be bad.
Also, do we all remember that episode of “Gossip Girl” when Penn Badgley had a threesome with that chick we all hated and Hilary Duff? What ended up happening is that Badgley kept focusing on that ugly girl, and Hilary Duff got all jealous and dumped him. Essentially, what we need to take away from this is that threesomes with people you know can get in between friendships. Can you imagine the drama that could be caused if your friend’s boyfriend pays more attention to you than to her? It’s best to just avoid that fight all together.
My suggestion is that you forget about this. Checking this off your bucket list isn’t worth all the trouble it could cause. If you really want to have a threesome, find a random couple at a club and have at it. And in case anyone asks why, you can just say you were under the influence.
Go explore your sexuality – it’s your time as a college student.

V

October 27, 2013

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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