Dear V,
So my love life has been pretty much nonexistent lately. Not because I can’t find a guy who’s interested, but because I can’t find anyone I am interested in. I feel bad, but I’ve been flirting with two guys at the same time, even though I’m not actually looking for anything with either of them. It’s just fun, but both of them are interested and want to hang out. How do I turn them down nicely? And how can I find a guy I might actually want to pursue for the right reasons?
Sincerely,
I’m Bluffin’ With My Muffin
Dear Bella Swan,
This dilemma has plagued women since the beginning of time. Flirting with two guys at the same time doesn’t make you a bad person, but you should take a step back and re-evaluate your choices.
If you’re in a situation where your options are Edward Cullen and Jacob Black, I suggest you get with both of them just to see what it’s like. If you decide that neither of them have all the qualities you need in a man, then at the very least you’ll have gotten some pleasure out of the situation. But realistically you’d pick Edward because duh, who wouldn’t?
It’s OK to not like someone – there’s no reason to ever feel bad for feeling a certain way, but deception is never OK. As long as both boys are aware of the situation and know that it’s very possible that things are just casual, then you should be fine, and your conscience is clear.
Have them take you to some parties and let them buy you dinner, there’s no harm in that – just make sure they’re aware that if they get into your pants, it’s strictly for research purposes … or just don’t let them into your pants (or do, a girl has needs). It’s an opportunity worth exploring.
At the risk of sounding like a Disney character just remember that the right guy will eventually come along. If these guys aren’t doing it for you, just let them know that you’d rather be friends. Hang out with them in a group setting so they don’t get the wrong idea.
Say hello to Edward for me and if you’re not about that life, just direct him my way. I like a man that bites.
Sincerely,
V