Dear V

Dear V: My boyfriend wants to score a touchdown…

V,

I’m a dating an athlete. He won a game this week, and now he wants to conquer the endzone. Only problem is: I’m afraid of his football. Rumor has it, it exceeds NFL regulations. I’m not new to this game, but I’ve only had to play with smaller footballs before.

I want us to score a touchdown, but I need your help.

Any words of wisdom, coach?

Sincerely, 

Taking one for the team 

 

Dear Gisele Bundchen,

Suck it up and rub some dirt on it! That’s as far as my sports talk is going to take us, so prepare yourself.

I get crazy excited when my favorite candidate wins “America’s Next Top Model,” so I can only imagine what winning a football game is like. The adrenaline rush from scoring a real-life touchdown is probably something akin to how a 15-year-old feels when they see One Direction in concert for the first time.

From my experience, when people talk up the size of a man’s “football,” they’re often exaggerating. Take everything you’re told with a grain of salt, and wait to find out for yourself. It’s always better to form your own opinions about those kinds of things.

I highly doubt it’ll be too big for you to handle, so enjoy it! He’s one of the sporty ones, so create an atmosphere that’s comfortable for him and go for the gold. Tune into ESPN, put out some alcohol, and let things fall where they may.

You may just get yourself a championship title.

V

September 8, 2013

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Shakey Rodriguez, the Miami high school basketball coaching legend, vividly remembers the first time ...

It was a good day for the Miami Hurricanes basketball team. They moved up to No. 6 in the AP Top 25 ...

Erykah Davenport and Shaneese Bailey made key plays back-to-back late in the game and four players s ...

1. MARLINS: Jeter's Fish trade Gordon. Stanton next?: While others spend -- like the Angels to ...

Five years and two days after being fired as FIU’s football coach, at least one report declares form ...

William W. Sandler Jr. Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Education earns national recognition for it ...

Retired baseball star Alex Rodriguez gives "Major League" advice to UM’s fall graduating c ...

Becoming the Man of the Hour ...

Always a little bit of a flair for the dramatic. ...

A scholarship created by retired Major League Baseball star Alex Rodriguez and born out of his love ...

Dewan Huell recorded his second double-double of the season as Miami improved to 9-0 with a 59-50 wi ...

The Miami women's basketball team begins play at the Puerto Rico Classic Monday against Sacrame ...

The University of Miami women's basketball team capped its seven-game homestand with a 79-31 wi ...

University of Miami senior wide receiver Braxton Berrios earned 2017 first-team 2017 CoSIDA Academic ...

USA Diving announced the recipients of its annual awards at a ceremony in conjunction with the 2017 ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.