V.Online

V.Online: Bad lighting and worse taste

I went to the gym for the first time in eons today and I am 100 percent convinced that fluorescent lights exist for the sole purpose of making people look soft and blotchy.

I would like to point out that I’m not the fittest person on the planet but please, if a 20-something-year-old doesn’t get naked in the middle of the locker room, neither should you, grandma. Never mind the fact that your peak physical state has long since passed – you should know (from your millennia of experience) which lighting does and doesn’t suit you.

Every time Barbara Walters is on air her shot is just a teeny tiny bit out of focus. Everything is smooth, creamy and pastel-y. Why? Because Barbara knows a little something about image preservation. Get with the times, people. Unflattering pictures of anyone and everyone plague the deep (and sometimes not-so-deep), dark, corners of the Internet.

Next time it could be you.

There’s also a whole “Real Housewives of UM” thing going on in there and I really can’t deal with it. Their first world problems are too much for me to handle – I don’t think I’m ever going back.

Though whenever I need a reliable plumber I’ll know who to ask.

Until next time,

V

July 16, 2013

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V

Advice Columnist


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