Dear V

Dear V: California girls, they’re undeniable…

Dear V,

My boyfriend got a medical school offer in California and wants me to join him at the same school. I did not intend on going to California. I want to travel to New York to work at a marketing firm. I want to live in the “Gossip Girl” world and not in “The OC.” I love him, but I need to live my life.

I Want to Be Blair Waldorf 


Dear Pretentious East Coaster,

Your worst nightmare is California. The border to the Pacific Ocean, medical marijuana and the shadow of Hollywood can be turn-offs for the aspiring New Yorker. New Yorkers thrive on action, deadlines and never having enough time to take in all the necessary culture. Californians are the complete opposite.

But these are stereotypes. The West and East Coast have as many similarities as differences. They are hotbeds of the most successful and richest people and support the organic food movement. Who doesn’t love a yuppie eating a Whole Foods veggie burger that was prepared with the freshest ingredients?

California can be your version of New York. They have the same amount of celebrity appearances, liberals and marketing firms to wet yourself. California is actually New York without the darkness and Gotham-like landscape.

Everyone has better personalities and they don’t live in fear of super villains like the Joker or the Green Goblin.

The only villains you may encounter is the occasional conservative politician who moved out to a rehab center in Napa Valley. Yeah, talk about the irony.

And remember that at one point, Blair Waldorf was unhappy about not dating Chuck Bass and losing her title as queen bee. She uses her money and social status to make up for her shortcomings as a person. But Blair eventually learns that she defines New York as much as the city defines her. New York embodies Blair. Amen.

Here’s the bottom line. If you envision a future with this rich doctor who will be performing plastic surgery on Tom Cruise and Katy Perry, then be ready to refine your Californian accent.

If New York is more important, then you can always find a cool artist who is confused about his sexuality at the Village. There is nothing like starring in the sequel to “Rent.”

And if you’re wondering, I am from the Midwest and that’s where the best farm bars are located. Damn right.


April 21, 2013



Advice Columnist

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