Dear V

Dear V: My one-night stand evolved into a love triangle…

V,

I’m on a dance team, and I recently hooked up with a Rutgers guy at an after-party we both attended up North. We ended up hooking up the following weekend when he came down to Miami for a dance competition. This time things got a lot steamier, and we ended up texting and hanging out the next morning post the after-party. However, later that week, I found out that he has a girlfriend. I asked him if it was true, and he admitted it was. Even though I know it was a bad idea to accept his apology, I still want to continue talking to him. Why do I feel like this? Should I not text him anymore?

 Sincerely,

 Slutger Boy’s Other Girl

 

Dear Slutger,

It appears that you are a victim of dirty dancing sans Patrick Swayze and the corny, ‘80s montage.

As a dancer, you exist in the center of a dramatic life. Rehearsals are naturally sensual, and that sexual energy found its climax at Rutgers’ competition. These unsuspecting boys appreciate your way of life and know the tricks to seduce and then reject other advances. You needed a relief from the closet gays and catty girls that secretly comment on your amazing moves, but want you to slip and fall so that e-board elections benefit them.

You made the first grave error in breaking the sacred code of the one-night stand. If you didn’t notice, one-night stands are supposed to end after one night. You can rent your prize, but you cannot keep it.

And just think about your situation: you’re in the middle of an edgy love triangle that fans of “Felicity” and “Twilight” would envy. But without the vampires and convenient season cliffhangers, you actually have to get out of the triangle and get it together.

If he is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with a dancer, then he may do the same with you. He’ll eye musicians, jugglers and photographers with a keen eye. You’ll then revisit a second triangle and before you can claim allegiance to Team Edward or Team Jacob. I’m Team Edward because I enjoy brooding faces during sex.

I recommend cutting him out cold turkey. He needs to work on his relationship skills, and you need to search for potential suitors outside of skanky dance competitions and debaucherous after-parties.

If you wish to continue and enjoy the attention of a love triangle, then start preparing for despair and anger toward your Rutger beau and the occasional menage-a-trois.

 

V

March 21, 2013

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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