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Dear V: My goodies were good enough for him and his boys…

Dear V ,

I am really into sexting and enjoy sending my boyfriend pictures of my boobs and other “essentials.” I use Snapchat to make sure that he can’t copy the pictures and send them to his boys. One day, though, his friend sent me a naughty picture of myself. I can’t believe that my supposed boyfriend broke his promise. Should I break up with him?

Sally Sexts Seashells by the Seashore

 

Sexting Sally,

I guess meeting Harry didn’t turn out so well … After all, he did tell you men and women couldn’t be friends. I apologize for being insensitive, but I couldn’t resist.

I am going to finally put a cap on the letters about sexting.

I want to use you as an example for the rest of the bimbos that think sexting is cute, sexy, smart, in the British sense, hot, etc.

Sexting meant something back in the day. Video tapes used to be made, stored and revisited later for viewing pleasure. Simple and effective. Now with Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Tom’s watchful eye over MySpace, sexting has become a public spectacle with thousands of viewers getting excited over your probably un-perky boobs. It’s a likely assumption.

And there is that age-old saying: “You can’t trust no man.” Snapchat helps justify the amount of scumbags that continue to break their “sincere” promises.

Unless you signed a contract that guaranteed legal actions for breaking this agreement, you’ll have to deal with the world having a detailed close-up of your junk.

You should think about your boy’s friend because he may have saved you from further humiliation. He might care about you more than the guy that betrayed you.

I think you like the attention that sexting brings, but I am assuming you’re not too happy with the public display of your privates.

Again, it seems counterintuitive to say “betrayal” because you have already betrayed yourself by publicizing your goodies on the Internet.

But every cloud has a silver lining … Or the metal lining of the bra that once covered your tits. Your young body will remain immortal through the power of the Internet. Talk about the ultimate fountain of youth.

You can tell your Jetson grandkids that you were a five-minute Internet porn sensation. Bask in the glory.

Otherwise, it’s time to tell your boyfriend to f*** off.

 

 

V

February 21, 2013

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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