Opinion

Giving a cold shoulder to a hot, new trend

After an eight-hour workout at the gym, in which I mostly drank Gatorade and used cheesy pickup lines on girls running on the treadmill, I should end my manly day by engulfing some hearty, cholesterol-filled steak. But instead, I follow the South Florida hipster trends.

This annoying desire to fit in led me to a frozen yogurt shop, where you will usually run into every personality ranging from gangster rappers to your grandma. For some reason all of Miami has fallen for the sugar-free, lightly colored mushiness that you have the option to smother with Oreo cookies, gummy bears or fake strawberries for the low price of $16 an ounce.

As I sprinkle Fruity Pebbles on my nonfat, red velvet cupcake yogurt, there is a small part of me that doesn’t find the appeal of this snack that was once only consumed by third grade Girl Scouts after school.

I can’t deny that frozen yogurt is tasty. That’s not the issue. The complaint is about walking into a restaurant painted like a Chuck E. Cheese’s mixed with a “Powerpuff Girls’” episode (I’m not proud to say that I watched it). Even worse is waiting in line behind people who are so excited to mix yogurts that they have to Instagram it.

Ordering coffee at Starbucks is complicated enough, but now I have to memorize yogurt combinations too. With 60 different yogurt flavors and 500 toppings to choose from, I just can’t find the space in the tiny paper bowl they give me to fit it all.

As college students, do we really need to stoop that low and hang out at yogurt shops? Let’s be honest here, we all crave sugary ice cream with peanut butter cups and chocolate syrup running down our faces as opposed to basically eating watered down fat-free whipped cream.

So unless you’re dating a high school senior, there is no reason to choose Menchie’s over a decent restaurant. As tacky as T.G.I. Friday’s is, it’s still better than a Friday night with froyo where you will most likely be surrounded by an entire girls’ pee wee soccer team.

Instead of scooping yogurt from my pink spoon with a winky cartoon face on it in front of all the hipsters that are too lazy to find a food truck, I will go home and pull a Go-Gurt out of my freezer and into my mouth.

There I can enjoy a simple yogurt with no complicated toppings, and no people to judge my fruity cravings. That may have sounded a little strange, but at least I’m not at a public yogurt gathering.

 

Kyle Rambo is a junior majoring in math.

January 30, 2013

Reporters

Kyle Rambo


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Most NBA mock drafts had Miami Hurricanes guard Davon Reed going late in the second round of Thursda ...

University of Miami shooting guard Davon Reed will gather with friends and family in Ewing, New Jers ...

University of Miami great and Pro Football Hall of Famer Warren Sapp announced on Tuesday that he pl ...

The University of Miami continues to make a hard push for five-star point guard Immanuel Quickley of ...

The University of Miami’s 2018 football recruiting class, already ranked the best in the country by ...

UM Student Affairs Advocacy Coordinator Heather Stevens has been awarded the William Leftwich Award ...

President Julio Frenk makes the case for collaboration at eMerge Americas. ...

UM College of Engineering Dean Jean-Pierre Bardet and alumnus Rony Abovitz share the stage in a disc ...

UM showcases its technology initiatives and projects at eMerge Americas ...

The University of Miami Center for Computational Science and the Fastrack Institute sign an agreemen ...

Four weeks, four potential stars, only at The U. ...

Redshirt senior forward Kamari Murphy of the University of Miami men's basketball team will pla ...

Senior guard Davon Reed of the University of Miami men's basketball team was selected No. 32 ov ...

Lexi Castellano of the University of Miami soccer team spent almost four weeks this summer in Vietna ...

Miami Hurricanes baseball legend Pat Burrell will be inducted into the Omaha College Baseball Hall o ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.